The Myth: Legends of Charlemagne! Knights! Shining Armour! Magic
swords! Magic horses! Quests, romance, adventure, monsters, violence,
irresponsible magic, and a magnificent lack of self-control!
The Book: Orlando Furioso
The Author: Lodovico Ariosto (1532-ish)
This text: An etext of a set of poetry translations from 1823 to 1831 by William Stewart Rose.
Price: Nothin'.
(Previously...)
Rogero rejoins the Saracens, Marphisa joins the Christians
After their adventure with Marganor, Rogero reiterates that he wants to find a way to delicately extricate himself from his oath of fealty rather than simply betraying it. Bradamante, a knight herself, gets it. She and Marphisa head back to Charles' camp.
Everyone is pleased to see her, especially her brothers.
Marphisa - who once vowed to defeat Charlemagne in single combat - is actually quite impressed when she meets the king in person. She gives an eloquent speech, detailing her history, including how she came to be Queen of India. The short version: she was sold to king of India to join his harem; on her "wedding" day, she murdered the king and his court and seized his throne; then she conquered six more kingdoms before she turned eighteen. She admits to having wanted to kill Charlemagne, but admits this as an error: she didn't know they were related, she didn't know Agramant's family had killed her parents, and she didn't know Charlemagne was quite so good.
Happy to convert, she says, then I'll go murder Agramant and baptise my kingdoms.
Marphisa is baptised in style, by the archbishop/paladin Turpin, with Charlemagne standing in as her father.
Astolpho returns to earth
Meanwhile, in Ethiopia, Astolpho's divine chariot has made landfall. Saint John tells him of a secret herb that will cure Prester John's blindness, and also gives him secret divine training techniques to prepare the Ethiopians for battle. Astolpho is to lead them on an attack against Biserta in North Africa.
All of this makes Prester John pretty happy.
Astolpho has a couple more preparations to make: acting on divine instruction, he flies south to a particular cave, where he traps Auster, the South Wind, in a bladder. Then he flies to the top of a mountain and starts an avalanche - which, through divine magic becomes a herd of warhorses to mount the Ethiopian troops.
With his new army and his new magic, Astolpho methodically lays waste to Africa, conquering city after city and ultimately besieging Biserta.
Moorish deliberations
News of Astolpho's actions reaches Agramant in France.
Agramant is concerned.
But Marsilius, King of Spain, suggests that this whole thing is pretty unlikely. Ethiopians? On horseback? With a leader on a hippogryph? Most likely Agramant's lieutenant Branzando has exaggerated the situation to cover his own failures. Much better for the Moors to remain in France until Charlemagne is defeated. That's just sense, nothing to do with Spain's self interest.
King Sobrino pipes up at this point, saying that perhaps it might have been better to make peace earlier, rather than listen to Rodomont and his cronies. Sobrino has actually been saying this all along, but it's sounding better now that Rodomont has pissed off and Rinaldo's back on the field. Sure, Orlando's still MIA, but the Saracen army has also lost Gradasso, Mandricardo and Marphisa. And the Christians now have Guido, Sansonet, Gryphon, Aquilant...
Sobrino's plan isn't just to retreat, however - that leaves Spain exposed, and is pretty cowardly. No, says Sansonet, the Christians are sick of this war too. Better to stake the whole war on a single one-on-one duel.
Rogero's pretty good, says Sobrino.
Charlemagne accepts Agramant's proposal: while he's pretty sure he's winning, he's not really keen on losing any more of his knights. And, besides, with Rinaldo here, how can he lose?
Rinaldo certainly shares that point of view.
Rogero, however, is not keen. He's pretty sure he can take Rinaldo, but he's not keen on killing his future brother-in-law.
For her part, Bradamante has some fairly choice commentary to make: Rogero was supposed to be extricating himself from the Saracen army, not taking sole responsibility for the whole damn thing. Now whatever the outcome, it's not good for Bradamante. Stupid fucker, she says.
Don't worry, says Melissa, I'll fix it.
Where the fuck have you been, says Bradamante.
Don't worry about that either, says Melissa.
Duel!
Rogero and Rinaldo front up to the duelling field, accompanied by the Kings of Africa and Spain on one hand and the King and peers of France on the other. Malagigi suggests that the duel should probably be with axes, since Rogero has a magic sword. (I'm pretty sure Rinaldo does too, but Malagigi doesn't mention it.)
The Kings swear before God the terms of the wager, which is largely to do with the tribute that will be owed to the victor. Rogero sneaks in a sneaky oath that if his king meddles in the battle or the aftermath his own services will be forfeit to Charlemagne. Rinaldo makes a matching oath, should Charlemagne prove dishonorable.
The battle starts, with Rogero trying very hard not to kill Rinaldo, or to be killed by Rinaldo.
Rinaldo has no such qualms.
The Africans are quite disappointed in this display: they were pretty sure Rogero was better than this. Agramant glares at Sobrino.
Then Rodomont appears! Agramant, he says, how come you've got a kid fighting for the future of your kingdom? How come we don't just attack the Christians?
Rodomont's appearance changes the odds substantially in Agramant's eyes. He orders the Saracens to charge.
What he didn't know was that it wasn't Rodomont at all; it was Melissa, in disguise. Once the battle starts, she vanishes in a puff of magic.
The interruption to the duel confuses Rinaldo and Rogero. They stop their own fight to work out which of the monarchs broke the truce, because that will determine which side they're on.
But no such confusion holds Bradamante and Marphisa. These are both absolutely itching to fight, Bradamante because of the enormous swelling of frustration and angst in her breast, Marphisa because she's Marphisa. They throw themselves into the fight with abandon, fighting side by side and impressing each other with their prowess. Then they split up, because they'll do more damage that way.
Agramant, meanwhile, is wondering where the fuck Rodomont went. Also Sobrino and Marsilius, who have retreated to Arles.
The Saracens are soundly defeated.
Astolpho's triumph
Because Agramant has drained much of Africa's manpower to invade France, Astolpho and Prester John are able to conquer most of Africa pretty easily. Branzardo is holed up in Biserta, and that's apparently the last remaining Saracen city in Africa.
Branzardo offers up a captured paladin, Dudon, as ransom, if Astolpho promises not to raze his city. Astolpho agrees.
Astolpho is pretty pleased with his victory, and decides to return to France. He takes some leaves and throws them into the sea, where divine magic turns them into a fully equipped and manned war fleet. They're just waiting for a favourable wind when a vessel turns up, full of Christians! These are Rodomont's prisoners from the bridge, sent to Africa as slaves. Here's Brandimart, Olivier, Sansonet, and several others.
Technically, Astolpho is the one to set them free, so he gets the rescue. It's a pretty weak rescue, but it did come about from him conquering most of Africa.
Astolpho's rescue count: +3 named knights, plus, say, 4 others, 7 total.
As everyone is enjoying the reunion, there's an uproar. The locals have been attacked by a naked savage, who is wielding a tree. Not a big tree, but a tree.
There's also a woman in black - it's Flordelice! She and Brandimart are reunited! She's travelling with Bradimart's faithful liegeman Bardino. Brandimart is just about to embrace his old friend when the wild man interrupts with his tree.
It's Orlando! shouts Flordelice.
I've got a plan! shouts Astolpho.
The knights circle Orlando. There is a short and vicious fight, but the five of them are able to wrestle Orlando to the ground and truss him up. They throw him seven times into the sea to clean him up, then stopper up his mouth with moss. Astolpho produces the vial with Orlando's reason, and makes Orlando sniff the vapours.
Orlando comes to his senses.
And feels a little bit stupid.
Astolpho's rescue count: +1 deranged knight.
The rout of the Moors
Agramant is fighting gamefully on, but most of his forces have retreated to Arles and are fleeing by boat. The king abandons the fight entirely when he realises that both Bradamante and Marphisa are pursuing him. He retreats, burning bridges and closing gates as he goes, abandoning such of his troops that are holding bridges and outside gates. He sends his big ships home, leaving some smaller vessels to help him coordinate the stragglers. Sobrino abandons France entirely, and Marsilius retreats to Spain. Eventually Agramant takes what remains of his force sets sail, in a demoralised and bitter fleet.
He is hoping to relieve Biserta, still under siege despite Dudon's ransom, but is surprised to find the sea full of inexplicable magic warships. Dudon is in command, and several Saracen vessels are sunk. Agramant and Sobrino are able to transfer valuables - including the horse Brigliadoro - to a smaller ship and escape under cover of darkness.
The Christians, now led by Orlando, decide to destroy Biserta once and for all. They offer the city three days grace, and then attack it with full force. After a mighty battle, Biserta falls, and is put to the torch. Branzando takes his own life, and the Agramant's remaining vassals are killed.
Agramant sees the smoke from the city from aboard ship, and asks Sobrino what they should do. Sobrino counsels that they should head to Sericane, and raise a force to win back Agramant's kingdom. Gradasso welcomes the fugitives, and offers two ways by which he might help: he'll take on Orlando in single combat while everyone else fights the Ethiopians; or he'll raise a huge force of Arabs and Persians to reconquer Africa.
Agramant likes these ideas, but says that whatever happens, they'd probably best deal with Orlando first. He proposes that they challenge Orlando to a two-on-two fight. Sobrino says that he'd like to play too, so they decide to make it three-on-three. They send a messenger to Orlando with the challenge.
Orlando hears that Agramant has his horse and that Gradasso has his sword and Rinaldo's horse, so agrees immediately. He selects Brandimart and Olivier, they equip themselves as best they can, and off they head.
Rogero's troubles
Rogero and Rinaldo spent the battle trying to work out who broke faith first, Agramant or Charlemagne, and were unable to resolve the matter at the time. Eventually, Rogero renews his oath to Rinaldo, and rides off to find out what happened. He follows the route of Agramant's retreat, asking everyone he meets what happened.
It was Agramant, says everyone.
Rogero arrives in Arles to find no boats and no Saracens, so he gloomily heads towards Marseilles. He's still convinced that he can't desert without being called a coward, but he's not really willing to head to Africa to confront Agramant. In Marseilles he finds Dudon's fleet with all of his Saracen captives. He spots a party of Saracen kings - many of them his friends - and decides to rescue them. Dudon objects, and rides to challenge Rogero. They fight.
During the battle, Rogero considers Bradamante's lineage, and notes that her mother was Danish. Dudon is the son of Ogier the Dane, and thus Bradamante's kinsman on her mother's side. Rogero therefore uses the flat of his blade to defeat Dudon. Dudon concedes the battle, and Rogero takes back the seven Saracen kings. He takes a ship, and sails for Africa.
Rogero's rescue count: +7 Saracens. They count, even though they almost immediately drown.
Unfortunately, a storm blows up and the vessel founders. Rogero heads for the skiff, but it's overloaded and sinks. Most of those on it drown, but Rogero surfaces and swims for shore. The ship, which appeared to be lost, survives the storm and drifts, uncontrolled, to the coast of Africa.
Prelude to the triple duel
By a remarkable coincidence, Rogero's ship beaches on the shore just near Orlando and company, who are delighted to find the horse Frontino and all of Rogero's arms and armour. Orlando doesn't need armour, so he gives it to Olivier. The horse he gives to Brandimart, and he takes the sword for himself. They patch up the ship and and sail off to Sericane.
The knights arrive at the appointed duelling ground, a beach. Brandimart - once upon a time, a Saracen and a friend of Agramant's - is sent to negotiate with the Saracens. He says that the Christians are happy to concede the fight and give him all his kingdoms back if Agramant converts.
Agramant is deeply offended. He does not convert.
Rogero's future
Rogero is struggling to reach the shore in a storm. This a good time to rethink his life choices.
Choice number 1: "Probably should have chosen my girlfriend over my boss."
Choice number 2: "Probably should have accepted that the conditions of my oath to Rinaldo were met."
Choice number 3: "Probably should have got baptised before I died."
Should he survive, Rogero resolves to immediately convert, immediately marry Bradamante, and immediately swear fealty to Charlemagne.
Satisfied with these life choices, he finds renewed vigour and a helpful swell, and washes up on shore. He takes stock, and finds that he's on a desolate island. He hadn't considered this outcome: he may have escaped drowning only to starve to death on a rock.
Happily, the rock is not uninhabited: Rogero meets a hermit who has lived here undisturbed for forty years, who is thus extremely holy. The hermit addresses him as a pre-Damascus St Paul, and then explains that oaths made when drowning still count when not.
Fair enough, says Rogero.
The hermit spends a day instructing Rogero in the mysteries of the faith, and then baptises him.
Then the hermit explains about the prophecy concerning Rogero's death: he'll die within seven years of his conversion, mostly for the deaths of Pinabel and Bertolagi. (It is noted that Bradamante killed Pinabel; basically, it sucks to be Rogero.)
The prophecy continues: Bradamante, heavily pregnant, will quest to find out Rogero's fate; their son, Ateste, will be born in a forest and eventually become a great hero like his parents; Ateste, Bradamante and Marphisa will avenge Rogero's death and burn Poictiers to the ground; Rogero's descendants will eventually become great warriors, heroes, leaders, and, especially, patrons of poets.
Rogero says, Great?
The triple duel
Orlando squares off against Gradasso. Mounted on Bayardo, Gradasso is the more powerful jouster, and Orlando is barely able to get a blow in. Eventually, Orlando is unhorsed; he draws his sword.
Agramant and Olivier and evenly matched, but Brandimart easily unhorses Sobrino. Since Gradasso is still mounted and Orlando isn't, Brandimart turns to face that king. This leaves Sobrino to face Orlando.
Sobrino is no match for Orlando, and is laid flat by a single blow to the head. He's not dead, but he looks it; Orlando turns to see what's happening with Brandimart.
Brandimart isn't losing but he's not winning either; he's riding Frontino, which lets him at least dodge Gradasso's blows. Orlando sees Sobrino's horse, and mounts it. He rides in to challenge Gradasso, and manages to get a strong blow into the joins of his enchanted armour. Gradasso, who has never been seriously injured before, goes into a rage, and retaliates with Durindana, Orlando's own sword, severing Orlando's shield and armour and wounding the knight despite his skin's enchantment.
Through all of this Agramant and Olivier continue to fight, equally matched - but Sobrino comes to his senses, and sneaks in to stab Olivier's horse from behind. Olivier falls; Sobrino tries to stab him, but he's unable to penetrate Rogero's enchanted armour. Olivier has an arm free to defend himself, but is trapped beneath his dead horse.
Brandimart rides in to engage Agramant. Gradasso is gaining the upper hand, and hits Orlando with a stunning blow. The noise spooks Orlando's horse, which flees. Gradasso makes to pursue, but sees that Brandimart has wounded Agramant and shattered his sword; the king is defending himself with a mere dagger.
Gradasso rides in and cuts Brandimart's head in half.
The shock of this sight brings Orlando back to his senses; he regains control of his horse and rides towards the Saracen kings. He decapitates the beleaguered Agramant. Agramant's head lands at Gradasso's feet; Gradasso doesn't even raise his sword against Orlando's killing blow.
Brandimart, despite having his head split down to the nose, is able to beg Orlando to take care of Flordelice before he dies.
Orlando rescues Olivier from under his horse; Olivier's foot is badly damaged and he can no longer walk. He also finds a heavily wounded Sobrino. Sobrino concedes the fight, and Orlando makes sure he is consigned to good care. Then he gathers up all of the various magic swords, sets of armour and horses, and heads back to France.
Next: The End.
Rescue tally:
Astolpho: 14
Melissa: 12
Rogero: 9
Bradamante: 7
Angelica: 7
Orlando: 3
Marphisa: 3
Rinaldo: 2
