The Book of Kings VI: Persian Prince Parade (redux)

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.



In the aftermath of Sekander's reign, Persia's ivory throne lies empty. The land is ruled by a succession of kinglets, each "cheerfully ruling a petty kingdom." This is exactly as Sekander planned.

Eventually, however, one of these kings, Babak, starts dreaming of his chief shepherd, Sasan.  He has Sasan brought to him and questions him about his ancestry. It turns out that the shepherd is the descendent of another Sasan, the son of Dara, who went into hiding in India and lived obscurely. Babak's dreams suggest that Sasan or his offspring will become king of Persia, so he invites him into his palace, clothes him in finery and marries him to his daughter. Sasan sires a son, Ardeshir Babakan, who grows into a fine prince with a particularly dazzling divine kingly radiance.

Ardeshir
Ardeshir is summoned to the court of King Ardavan, where he promptly falls in love with one of the king's concubines, Golnar. Golnar is not just a concubine; she is also Ardavan's prime minister, chief advisor and treasurer. This makes it easy for Golnar to raid the treasury when she and the prince flee the palace.

Ardavan pursues, but is met with troubling omens. Everyone who has seen the prince comments on his divine kingly radiance, and his impossibly fleet horse is being followed by a clearly symbolic sheep. Ardeshir and Golnar escape Ardavan's pursuit, and the king returns to his lands to prepare for war. When Ardeshir returns, it is at the head of a conquering army.

Things go well for Ardeshir for a while, until he comes up against Haftvad. Haftvad was a merchant, until his daughter found a worm in an apple. The worm was magical, and helped Haftvad's daughter to spin vast amounts of magical thread. Haftvad leveraged this productivity into vast wealth, and ended up controlling the town. For five years the worm was kept well-fed and comfortable, until now it is the size of an elephant in Haftvad's giant fortress.

Haftvad, it turns out, is pretty much invincible. Ardeshir's army is routed and his palace is sacked. Ardeshir realises that he's not going to get very far without dealing with the worm, so he gathers his captains and sneaks into town. He poses as a merchant wishing to pay homage to the great beast, and gets the worm's servants drunk so that he can fill thing full of boiling lead.

Without the worm's magic, Haftvad is no match for Ardeshir and is captured. Ardeshir assumes the ivory throne and becomes King of Persia.

Shapur
Ardavan's sons send their sister to seduce Ardeshir and poison him. She is half successful: she sleeps with the king but spills the poison. She begs not to be executed, saying that she is carrying the king's child. Ardeshir sentences her and the child to death, but the chief priest takes pity on her and she is secretly spared.

Some years later, the chief priest confesses that he saved the woman and child, and Ardeshir is shaken but ultimately pleased to have a son. He picks the boy, Shapur, out of a lineup of a hundred young nobles, knowing instantly that this is his son.  He consults an Indian wise man about the future of the boy, who says that everything will be fine as Shapur marries the daughter of Ardeshir's enemy Mehrak. Ardeshir says he would rather die than give his throne over to Mehrak's descendants, and sends out horsemen to kidnap his enemy's only daughter so that she can be drowned.

Meanwhile, Shapur meets a beautiful girl while out hunting, and they hit it off. She tries to tell him that she is the daughter of the village headman, but he immediately pegs her as royalty and demands the truth. She says that she is the only daughter of Mehrak, and has been hidden in the village to keep her safe in case one of her father's enemies wants to have her drowned. Shapur tells the headman that he intends to marry his ward, and the headman, unwilling to argue with the crown prince, consents. Soon Shapur's wife gives birth to a son, Hormozd. They raise the boy in secret, but when Ardeshir finds out he only laughs and says that he should have listened to his seer.

Eventually, Ardeshir dies, though not before giving Shapur a long lecture about kingship. Shapur takes the throne. The Roman provinces stop sending their tribute, so Shapur goes to war against Rome. The Roman emperor is forced to surrender, and Shapur exacts a tribute from them.

More Kings
The narrative skips over a series of not very interesting kings: Hormozd, Bahram Hormozd, Bahram Bahram, Bahram Bahramian, Nersi Bahram and Hormozd Nersi. Royal names are in somewhat short supply in ancient Persia.

Shapur Zu'l Aktaf
Hormozd Nersi dies thinking he has no heir, but a wise priest finds a pregnant concubine in the harem and sets himself up as regent until the concubine's son is of age. The boy is named Shapur, and eventually becomes king.

Sometime ago, the Arab Tayer kidnapped Nersi Bahram's daughter, and fathered a daughter, Malekeh. When Shapur inevitably goes to war with the Arabs, Malekeh sees him from the battlements and immediately falls in love with him. She arranges for Tayer's fortress to fall to Shapur. Shapur orders Tayer decapitated, and then removes the shoulder blades from his Arab prisoners. This earns him the sobriquet Zu'l Aktaf: Lord of the Shoulders.

Sometime later, Shapur becomes bored with kinging and decides he wants to be a spy. He hands over the throne to his vizier and disguises himself as a fantastically wealth merchant, and heads off to spy on the emperor of Rome.

"Sire, we have spies."
"Do we have spies with divine kingly radiance?"
"It's not something we would consider an advantage..."
"Who's king?"

Unfortunately, Shapur has no sooner crossed the border when he is identified by a Persian exile and sold out the the emperor. The emperor has him bound up in an ass's skin, and sets off to invade Persia. Fortunately, the empress's servant is a Persian lass, and she falls in love with Shapur. On Shapur's orders, she slowly softens the ass's skin by secretly pouring warm milk on it. After two weeks of this the ass's skin splits and the king is free. The servant girl procures two horses, a mace, a helmet and some armour, and the two flee back to Persia.

"I could probably have procured a sword, sire..."
"The warm milk thing worked, didn't it?"

Shapur arrives back in Persia to find it besieged by the entire Roman army. He gathers his forces and attacks by night, defeating the Romans and capturing the Emperor. Remembering the ass's skin, he has the emperor mutilated and executed. The emperor is succeeded by his brother, who desperately sues for peace. Shapur accepts and they conclude a treaty.

More Kings
At this point the book skips over some more boring kings: Shapur's brother Ardeshir Niku Kar, Shapur III and Bahram Shapur.

Yazdegerd the Unjust and Bahram Gur
Yazdegerd's chapter begins "Yazdegerd rejoiced at his brother's unhappy death..." and it goes on from there. Yazdegerd is a tyrant, bereft of justice, mercy and divine kingly radiance. When his son Bahram is born, Yazdegerd consults some astrologers who tell him that the boy will become a great and glorious king. Yazdegerd thinks this sounds awesome, and summons envoys from all over the world so that he can find someone to raise the boy to be a great and glorious king. He settles on an Arab prince, Monzer, and his son No'man. These two raise Bahram to be a mighty warrior and hunter, and hopefully a great and glorious king.

Eventually, Yazdegerd summons his son back to Persia. He lavishes gifts on No'man and sends a letter back to Monzer saying what an awesome job he's done. Bahram, however, is a bit shocked at his father's brutal rule, and sends Monzer a letter of his own. Monzer writes back saying, "Hey, look, you've got to know your place, you know? Here's ten thousand dinars and your favourite slave girl."

Bahram is happy enough with this for a while, but Yazdegerd comes to feel that his son isn't acting appropriately and has him confined to quarters. Bahram conspires with the Roman envoy Taynush to escape, and flees back to his foster family in Yemen.

Yazdegerd asks his astrologers for a prophecy about his death. They tell him this is a bad idea, but he's king and he insists. They tell him that when his luck starts to decline, he'll head to the Fountain of Su, and he will die. Yazdegerd immediately swears an oath that he will never travel to the Fountain of Su, and his luck immediately starts to decline. He starts to bleed profusely from his nose. His astrologers sigh and say that he has angered God by trying to escape his fate, and really the only way to alleviate the curse is to travel to the Fountain of Su.

At the fountain, Yazdegerd bathes and his bloody nose immediately clears up. He decides not to wait around for whatever else is supposed to happen, and on the way home he is killed by an angry white horse.

Yazdegerd's nobles collectively sigh in relief, and note just what a bastard Yazdegerd was. Then they look speculatively at the empty throne, and each other. The priesthood quickly intervenes, and place an old and not particularly evil noble named Khosrow on the throne.

Meanwhile, Bahram and No'man hear of Yazdegerd's death and immediately raise an army. The Persian priesthood send an envoy and point out that Bahram has a pretty solid claim to the throne and perhaps riding at the head of a giant Arabian army isn't the best way of securing it. Bahram travels back to Persia with a small escort. He is welcomed by the nobles, and put on a throne if not the throne. The Persian people are not convinced, and there is unrest. The priesthood offer to set up a competitive examination process to select a king from a field of about a hundred nominees. They include Bahram so he's happy enough.

During this, Monzer asks the Persians why they won't accept Bahram, who should be a perfectly good king candidate. They point to all the body parts and organs that they lost under Yazdegerd, and say that they don't really expect better from his son.

Ah, says Monzer.

On learning this, Bahram gives a heartfelt speech to the Persian people, saying that he understand just how crap a king Yazdegerd was. The people and the priesthood are suitably impressed at his speech and his divine kingly radiance. Bahram suggests a test of bravery: the crown will be placed between two lions, and the person who can take it shall be king. Everyone says, sure. Either you get torn apart by lions or God saves you; we're happy with both of those options.

Khosrow and Bahram line up in front of the lions. Khosrow decides that he doesn't really want to be king anymore and lets Bahram go first. Then one of the lions breaks free and Bahram clocks it with his mace. He clocks the second lion and takes the crown.

Bahram's rule is peaceful and prosperous, and he is able to enjoy the pleasures of the palace. One day, however, one of courtiers gets ridiculously drunk and passes out on the road. His eyes are pecked out by ravens, and he dies. As a result, Bahram forbids the drinking of alcohol in his kingdom.

Shortly afterwards, a newly married cobbler's son is having difficulty performing his husbandly duties, so his mother pulls out her secret stash of wine to help him. The boy drinks up, and then heads home. Instead of mounting his donkey, he gets on a lion that has escaped from the king's menagerie. The lion keeper sees the boy riding the lion, and runs to tell the king. Bahram asks what has happened, and the story comes out. The king is highly amused, and amends his earlier decree: people are allowed to drink enough wine that they can ride a lion, but no so much that ravens peck their eyes out.

Bahram's rule continues. The Emperor of China hears that Persia is ruled by a dissolute, pleasure-loving king, and invades. Bahram, however, is well aware of his responsibilities and sees the Chinese forces off. Byzantium tries to claim that it shouldn't pay tribute to a king who lacks wisdom, but Bahram passes the Byzantine ambassador's test and the tribute is reinstated.

Bahram hears that the Shangal, the king of India, is straying from the path of righteousness. He takes a leaf from Sekander's book and goes as his own envoy. While in India, Bahram impresses everyone by killing a rhinocerous and a dragon, and then he seduces the king's daughter and escapes with her. Shangal pursues, and learns who this "envoy" really was. When he catches up, he swears vengeance upon Bahram, until Bahram convinces him that the position of royal father-in-law is a pretty good one, and carries exactly no obligation to pay tribute. Shangal sees the wisdom in this and returns to India as Bahram's regent.

More kings and a prophet
Bahram Gur is succeeded by his son Yazdegerd, who is succeeded briefly by his son Hormozd and rather longer by his other son Piruz. Piruz is succeeded by Balash, then Qobad. Qobad's reign sees the appearance of the dangerous prophet Mazdak, who preaches the unthinkable doctrine that nobles aren't really better than anyone else and that everyone should be treated as equals with all property held in common. Happily, Qobad and the Zoroastrian priesthood see off this terrible heresy and everyone returns to their lives of peace and prosperity.

"Everyone" being the nobility, of course. Who cares about those other guys?

Kesra Nushin-Ravan
Qobad's son Kesra is a just king who reforms the tax system and forges a treaty with Rome, that includes the emperor's daughter as his wife. Unfortunately, their son Nushzad is a bit of a tearaway and, worse, a Christian like his mother. When Kesra falls ill Nushzad leads a rebellion against his father. The rebellion is ultimately unsuccessful, and Nushzad dies wishing he'd been a more respectful son.

Kesra starts having prophetic dreams, and the search for someone to interpret it leads him to the boy Bozorjmehr, who is terribly wise and learned despite his youth. The exceedingly just Kesra and the exceedingly wise Bozorjmehr become a king/vizier dream team, and Persia prospers. There is a new treaty with China (again involving the emperor's daughter), and an exchange of games with India. Indian sages send the game of chess, and Persia returns its far superior game of nard, which is too complicated for the Indian sages to understand.

At least, that's the Persians' story.

Eventually, Kesra and Bozorjmehr fall out. Bozorjmehr starts seeing terrible omens everywhere, and frowns a lot. The king sees him frowning and takes offence. Bozorjmehr is confined to quarters. He takes it stoically, and whenever the king asks how he's doing he says he's doing pretty well. This causes the king to escalate his punishments, until Bozorjmehr is imprisoned in a spiked metal chest with his head bound by iron. The king smugly ask him how he's doing again, and Bozorjmehr says he's getting happier every day. Kesra demands an explanation, and Bozorjmehr says that he's taking more and more comfort in the idea that death comes to everyone sooner or later.

The king finds this answer weird and releases his vizier back to house arrest.

Byzantium tries again to claim that it doesn't have to pay tribute to anyone who isn't wise enough. An envoy arrives with a sealed casket, and says they will only pay tribute if the king can determine what is in the box without opening it. The king summons Bozorjmehr, who works it out with some pretty astute omen-reading. Byzantium agrees to continue to pay tribute, and Bozorjmehr is restored to the king's good graces.

"Sorry about the imprisonment and torture thing."
"Don't mention it."
"I feel really bad about it!"
"Just shut the hell up!"

Then Kesra imparts some kingly wisdom to his son, Hormozd, and dies.

Hormozd, Khosrow Parviz, and also Bahram Chubineh who is not technically a king
Hormozd turns out to be one of Persia's evil kings, and he immediately sets about imprisoning loyal viziers, murdering chief priests and executing nobles. Before long, Persia is in revolt and is threatened by external enemies. One of the older nobles recommends one Bahram Chubineh, who takes control of Hormozd's armies and marches against the rebel king Saveh Shah. Saveh Shah tries to induce Bahram to defect, but the general is incorruptible. Bahram is victorious, and he presents Saveh Shah's head to his king.

But he is also merciful, and offers safe conduct to Saveh Shah's son Parmoudeh. Parmoudeh is insufficiently grateful, however, and does not treat Bahram with the respect that he feels is his due. Bahram has Parmoudeh shackled and beaten. Then one of his people points out that this is actually a really good way of alienating a potential ally. Parmoudeh is released but it's no good: he runs off to Hormozd and tells him how badly Bahram has treated him. Hormozd takes Parmoudeh's side - monarch to monarch - and sends Bahram a gift of women's clothes and a spindle. Bahram dresses in the clothes and uses the outrage of his officers to drive rebellion against the king. Despite the warnings of his sister, Gordyeh, he sets himself up as a rival monarch in the town of Rey.

Bahram foments dissension in Hormozd's ranks by having coins minted bearing the likeness of the king's son, Khosrow Parviz, and sending them to Hormozd with a letter boasting that he will be Khosrow's most loyal and destructive general. Hormozd believes his son is planning to rebel, and orders him executed, along with many of his allies. Khosrow flees the palace.

Persia is in disarray, and nobody quite understands what's going on. Two of Hormozd's nobles decide that the king has lost all trace of divine kingly radiance, and corner him in his palace and blind him. Then they loot the treasury and flee.

Bahram learns of Hormozd's misfortune and - again against the advice of his sister Gordyeh - makes his move on the throne. Khosrow comes out to meet him. They parley, then fight, and Khosrow is forced back to his capital. He consults his blind father for advice, who tells him to send to Byzantium for aid. The emperor of Byzantium sends an army and his daughter. Khosrow is ultimately victorious, and Bahram flees to China.

Bahram ingratiates himself with the Chinese court, to the point of marrying at least two of the emperor's daughters, and when Khosrow demands his extradition the emperor instead sends Bahram at the head of a conquering army. Khosrow sends first a envoy to sue for peace, and, when that fails, an assassin to murder Bahram. This, at least, is successful.

The emperor of China wishes to honour Bahram's memory by marrying Gordyeh. Gordyeh deliberates, but decides that she is loyal to Persia and refuses. The emperor sends his brother, Tovorg, with an army to claim her anyway. Gordyeh challenges Tovorg to single combat, and kills him.

At this point, Gostahm, one of the nobles who blinded Hormozd, revolts against Khosrow and proposes to Gordyeh. Gordyeh decides she is willing to accept a Persian husband. This places all of her forces with Gostahm, which bothers Khosrow. Khosrow sends a secret letter saying that he has always loved Gordyeh, and offers to marry her if she can get rid of her new husband. This suits Gordyeh, and she smothers Gostahm in his sleep. Gordyeh becomes the wife of Khosrow and, at her request, ruler of Rey.

Shirui
Khosrow Parviz's son by his other, Byzantine, wife grows up idle and loutish, and by the time he comes of age his father has had enough and has him imprisoned. But although Khosrow had been a basically good king, and he gets older his court becomes more and more unjust. His chamberlain, Farrokhzad and a warrior, Goraz, actively encourage this dissolution. Eventually Khosrow gets wind of their treachery, but the two are able to release Shirui from prison and encourage the army to defect to him. Khosrow is imprisoned in his turn, and then executed by a common thief hired to the purpose.

Shortly afterwards, Shirui himself is poisoned.

A few last kings
Shirui is succeeded by his son Ardeshir, who is murdered. Goraz seizes the throne, and is murdered. Two royal princesses, Puran-Dokht and Azarm-Dokht, rule briefly before being succeeded by Farrokhzad, who is murdered. Khosrow Parviz's grandson, Yazdegerd III, takes the throne.


Yazdegerd and Mahuy
Yazdegerd ushers in a new era of stability and not being murdered, and rules for sixteen years. But then Persia is once again invaded by Arabs, led by Sa'd. But these Arabs are different. These aren't the pleasure-loving kings and splendid warriors of the past. They are black-clad religious fanatics, austere and terrible. Despite their lack of equipment and food they are all but unstoppable, sweeping all before them in an ecstatic frenzy.

Yazdegerd desperately gathers his loyal forces, including a governor, Mahuy - but Mahuy is treacherous and sends a letter to one of the outland warriors, Bizhan, telling him that the king is vulnerable and the throne can be his. Bizhan attacks and Yazdegerd's army is routed. The defeated, bewildered king takes refuge in a mill. The miller reports the presence of the lone, majestic warrior to his village headman, who sends him off to Mahuy. Mahuy offers the miller a choice: either go and cut off the warrior's  head, or have his own cut off now.

The miller accepts the commission and the king is murdered. Mahuy takes the throne - and he holds it as long as it takes Bizhan to get his army to the capital. But it turns out Bizhan has no design on the throne; he has allied with the Arab forces.

And so Mahuy is - briefly - the last Persian king in the Book of Kings, and the Shahnameh comes to an end.

--

I loved this book. It's grand and elaborate and majestic and awesome. From the ancient mythic heroes to the bloodthirsty chaos of the final era, it had me utterly entranced.

The poet Ferdowski ends his book asserting his moral right to be identified as the author of this work:

After sixty-five years had passed over my head, I toiled ever more diligently and with greater difficulty at my task. I searched out the history of the kings, but my star was a laggard one. Nobles and great men wrote down what I had written without paying me: I watched them from a distance, as if I were a hired servant of theirs. I had nothing from them but their congratulations: my gall bladder was ready to burst with their congratulations! Their purses of hoarded coins remained closed, and my bright heart grew weary with their stinginess.

...

"I've reached the end of this great history
And all the land will fill with talk of me:
I shall not die, these seeds I've sown will save
My name and reputation from the grave,
And men of sense and wisdom will proclaim
When I have gone, my praises and my fame.

I raise a glass to him across the ages: you sang a fine song, Mr Ferdowski.

The Book of Kings V: Sekandar's world tour

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.

Alexander is not technically a Persian king, but since he ruled Iran for a decent period, he has been taken into the Book of Kings as the half-Persian, all-heroic king of the world Sekandar. 

Greece and Persia
Darab, King of Persia, dies, and is succeeded by his second son Dara. Dara is a one of the better kings: pretty solid on the world-conquering, rather good on justice to the poor, fairly middling on the not-lopping-off-heads.

Darab's first son, Sekander, inherits the Greek throne when his royal grandfather dies. His first act is to appoint the smartest man in Greece, Arestalis, as his advisor. Arestalis demonstrates his wisdom by advising that a king that doesn't listen to his advisors is a stupid, stupid king.

Arestalis understands job security.

Egypt
Dara greets Sekander's ascension with a letter of congratulations and an invoice for Greece's tribute. Sekander refuses. He decides that a young man must travel the world, and so he gathers an all-conquering army and sets out. First stop is Egypt, where his invasion is so successful that there is more loot than he can carry and more surrendered officers than he can handle.

Persia again
Sekander decides that he wants to meet his brother, so he presents himself as his own envoy. He tells Dara that 'Sekander' has no intention of invading Persia, he just wants passage for his conquering army on his trip around the world. He points out that he doesn't technically need Dara to approve this. Dara refuses, though he is impressed with the handsome envoy who is glowing with divine kingly radiance. The Persian soldiers who had gone to Greece with the tribute invoice recognise Sekander, and tell Dara. Sekander expected this, however, and disappears into the night with a bag full of treasure and important strategic insights.

Three battles later, Sekander is in control of Persia and Dara is suing for peace. Sekander offers him safe passage for his family and the rulership of Persia as a satrap. Dara decides that this isn't quite what he wanted, and sends to Foor, an Indian prince. Sekander gets wind of this and sends out his troops. Dara's forces decide that they've had enough of being beaten by Sekander's all-conquering army, and Dara is stabbed by his chief advisor and his treasurer.

On his deathbed, Dara commends Persia to Sekander, as well as offering him his daughter's hand in marriage. Sekander agrees to respect the beliefs and customs of the land. Then he has the murderers put to death, because no king wants a pair of king-killers hanging around.

Qanuj
Sekander gathers his all-conquering army at the borders of Qanuj, ruled by King Kayd. Kayd's advisors recommend not going to war with Sekander's all-conquering army. They point out that Sekander is first and foremost a seeker of knowledge, and will probably be satisfied with a gift of Qanuj's four magnificent and irreplaceable treasures: a goblet that always remains full of water (or wine, if one so desires); a physician who can tell you everything that's wrong with you from a single drop of urine; a philosopher who can infallibly read the prophecies of the stars; and his daughter, who's gorgeous.

This all seems like a good deal to Sekander, who sends nine sages to collect them. However, he does express a certain skepticism, and puts all of the treasures to test.

Kayd's daughter passes more or less immediately, and Sekander marries her "according to the Christian fashion," presumably to distinguish the marriage from his marriage to Dara's daughter. He engages the philosopher in a battle of metaphors, and the philosopher comes out ahead. The physician tells him he eats to much and sleeps with too many women, and he gives him an unguent to help with that; Sekander refuses to take the medicine but sleeps alone. The physician deduces this from his urine, saying he doesn't need the medicine if he sleeps alone, that was the whole point. The goblet,  sure enough, it never runs out; a philosopher tells him that it's basically a really subtle and effective condenser, nothing magic as such.

Sekander is suitably impressed, and gives Kayd a pile of treasure and a peace treaty.

India
Sekander sends a letter to Foor, Prince of India, saying that he's a bit sick of all this fighting and that Foor can save everyone a lot of hassle by immediately offering his fealty. Foor refuses, and marshals his war elephants.

Sekander's spies alert him to the issue of the very large number of basically invincible Indian war elephants. Sekander delegates the problem to his wise men, who delegate it to a party of twelve hundred blacksmiths. The blacksmiths come up with a plan involving an iron horse filled with oil.

Great, says Sekander, I'll take a thousand.

So it turns out that the natural response of an Indian war elephant to an iron horse filled with burning oil is to panic and to run in random directions; Sekander's forces are less affected by panicking elephants and get the upper hand.

Sekander tells Foor that he can do things the easy way, involving single combat, or the hard way, involving the slaughter of thousands. Foor, twice Sekander's size, opts for the easy way, but is distracted a crucial moment and Sekandar slices him in half.

Sekander rules India himself for two months, then appoints a regent and moves on.

Mecca
Sekander, a Christian, decides to undertake the pilgrimage to the Ka'abeh, a move which pleases and confuses his army in equal measure. He pauses only to pray, conquer the surrounding area and kill an evil king.

Andalusia
Sekander returns to Egypt for a while, where he is treated well by the local king who doesn't want to be conquered again. Nearby(-ish) Andalusia is ruled by Queen Qaydafeh, who hears of Sekander's fame and sends a painter to Egypt to capture his likeness on silk. She likes what she sees and removes the painting to her private quarters for further examination.

Sekander, meanwhile, sends a letter to Qaydafeh asking exactly how much tribute she should be paying to him. Qaydafeh refuses to pay any, and Sekander moves his all-conquering army to the borders of Andalusia. His troops capture Qaydafeh's son, Qaydrus. Sekander proposes a ruse: he asks one of his advisors to sit on the throne pretending to be the king, while he acts as a courtier and begs for Qaydrus' life. Pretend-Sekander agrees to spare Qaydrus, and sends real-Sekander as envoy to Andalusia to negotiate with Qaydafeh.

Qaydrus returns to his mother and counsels sending Sekander his tribute. He introduces the "envoy" as the one who saved his life; Qaydafeh sends for her tapestry, and then asks to be left alone with Sekander. Qaydafeh tells Sekandar that she has a large collection of likenesses of various kings and heroes, and he's both. She notes that she doesn't actually want to kill Sekander, and suggests that they come to some sort of arrangement. She agrees to keep his identity secret so that her other son Taynush doesn't kill him and start a war.

The two swear oaths of amity and Sekander returns to his forces.

A different bit of India
Sekander takes his army to the land of the Brahmins, a group of ascetics. Somewhat bemused, they point out that they have completely eschewed wealth and power they don't actually have anything worth conquering. They explain their philosophy, and Sekander agrees that conquering would be completely pointless. He offers them expensive gifts, which they refuse, because: duh.

Abyssinia
Sekander takes his all-conquering army west, and quickly conquers Abyssinia. Then his army is attacked by a rhinocerous, which does about as much damage as the Abyssinian forces did.

A Land Where the Men Have Soft Feet and also there's a dragon
Sekander's all-conquering army arrives at a land where men have soft feet. The warriors are tall, but poorly armed and naked. They attack with rocks, and lose pretty quickly. Sekander's army finds itself in a huge and friendly city. The inhabitants ask him if he's a hero, because they need one: their city is plagued by a dragon.

Sekandar accepts the challenge. Where Rostam might have swatted it with his ox-headed mace, Sekandar approaches the task with one of his own preferred weapons: a battalion of archers. The dragon turns on the all-conquering army, but is scared off by the war drums. Sekander fills five cow skins with oil and poison and rolls them down to the hillside. The dragon eats the poison cows, and dies.

"You never tried poisoning the thing?"
"We're not heroes, sire."

Leaving this particular city, Sekandar comes across the mysterious tomb of a long-dead king. He can't help but notice that the king is (a) fabulously wealthy and (b) dead, and which leaves him in a fairly melancholy mood.

Harum
Sekandar and his chieftains press on ahead of the all-conquering army, and come to a town called Harum, which is ruled - and populated - entirely by women. Sekandar sends a letter saying that he would like very much to enter the city in pursuit of knowledge, as a friend, but he does happen to have an all-conquering army that might come into play if he is refused. The people of Harum write back telling him that it will do his reputation no good at all to be beaten by a bunch of girls, but that's pretty much inevitable if he doesn't back off. He is entirely welcome to take his all-conquering army around Harum, and they'll even throw a party for him if he does.

Sekandar sends back that he really really did want to see the city, but since he's only really after knowledge he'll be happy if the leaders come out and talk to him. The leadership sends out two thousand of the wisest and most eloquent women of Harum and a staggering tribute, and the plains see a pretty amazing party.

The next morning Sekandar is allowed into the city alone. What he learns there is not recorded, but he stays there until he has no more questions left to ask.



Various wondrous lands
Sekandar hears tell of the waters of life. A wise man tells him that a man must ride past the edge of the world on a young horse. Sekandar orders ten thousand young horses. He sends a scout ahead with a magic water-detecting amulet, and follows with the rest of the all-conquering army. Unfortunately, in the darkness beyond the edge of the world the army takes a wrong turn, and ends up at a great shining mountain instead. (The scout, happily, makes it to the waters of life; he has a bath, drinks his fill, and heads home.)

On the shining mountain, Sekandar meets two allegorical birds, who ask him about the meaning of life and so forth. They are happy with his answers ("Drinking and singing are pretty great, but seeking knowledge is pretty important.") and tell him to climb the mountain to see something really interesting and upsetting.

On top of the mountain, Sekandar does see something really interesting and upsetting: Esrafil, the angel of death. Esrafil tells him to piss off and keep travelling. Sekandar knows at this point that he's going to be travelling until he dies.

At this point the all-conquering army is more or less wandering aimlessly, and they come to a town that is beseiged by brutes with huge ears, the faces of animals and a remarkable fecundity. The brutes are led by the unstoppable warriors Yajuj and Majuj. Sekandar knows that he can solve such a problem by throwing enough blacksmiths at it: he summons a hundred thousand of them and has them build a wall as large as a mountain with Yajuj and Majuj on the other side. 

Sekandar comes across a palace of topazes, and in it finds a corpse with the head of a boar. It turns out this is another death/transience of earthly existence omen, and Sekandar freaks out a bit. He seeks comfort in conversation with a talking tree, but the tree tells him he's going to die soon, and without making it back to Greece.

China
The all-conquering army arrives in China, and Sekandar sends his usual "I come in peace, but note the all-conquering army" letter and sends himself as envoy. The emperor of China sends a response berating Sekandar for his lack of humility, and refuses to surrender. He lists Sekandar's shortcomings to the Sekandar-as-envoy, who is ashamed. The Chinese emperor sends extravagant gifts and an invitation to his hospitality; Sekandar accepts, saying that actually, he was quite impressed by the emperor of China.

Babylon, and the end of Sekandar's world tour
The weakening king makes it as far as Babylon. He sends to Arestalis, saying that he's going to invite every non-Greek royal to his court, where he will murder them all. Arestalis writes back telling Sekandar that this is an exceptionally bad plan, and isn't going to do anything to save Greece from future threats, in that if, say, Persia, is critically weakened, then all that will happen is that someone will conquer it and then threaten Greece. Sekandar sees the merit in this, and relents.

A monstrous child is born with the head of a lion; this is taken as an omen that Sekandar will soon be dead. He writes to his mother putting her in charge of Greece unless he happens to have a son by Dara's daughter. He orders Kayd's daughter back to her father.

Sekandar dies in Babylon and, after some bickering among the nobles about the most appropriate burial place, is buried in Alexandria.

As far as Persia is concerned, Sekandar's legacy is two hundred years of peace and prosperity, where there aren't actually any Persian kings. But the Book of Kings picks up again after that...

The Book of Kings IV: The End of the Heroic Age

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.

Other adventures
Kay Khosrow sends an army into Turan, under strict orders not to engage Seyavash's other son Forud. Forud is nevertheless dragged into the conflict, and fights a succession of Persian heroes until he is eventually defeated. Rostam fights a demon. The young hero Bizhan romances Afrasyab's daughter, Manizheh. Kay Khosrow is victorious in his campaign and Afrasyab is captured and executed. Kay Kavus dies, and his grandson continues to rule.

Kay Khosrow's last days
Kay Khosrow rules for sixty years of peace and prosperity. With nothing left to do, he wonders whether he should continue on, or just give it up. He reasons that, having pacified China and India and Byzantium, and having conquered most of the known world, and have rendered his lands safe from demons, it's really only downhill from here. Given his ancestry - which includes Afrasyab and Zahhak and Kavus - he comes to feel that if he does continue kinging, the most likely outcome is hubris, arrogance, evil and the loss of his divine kingly radiance.

He decides to pray.

Alone.

For quite a while.

It makes his nobles nervous.

"What's he doing?"
"Praying, he said."
"I don't like it."
"He said we shouldn't worry, maybe get drunk or something."
"I don't like it at all."

Eventually, the nobles get so worried that they send for Rostam.

Rostam and Zal arrive at the court to take charge. Khosrow comes out from his retreat and explains that he wants to retire.

"You want to retire? What madness is this? Is this the idiot madness of your grandfather Kay Kavus? Are you going to make an eagle-powered spaceship? Or is this the evil madness of your other grandfather Afrasyab? Is this because you're descended from Zahhak? Did you make the demon Eblis your cook!?"
"Calm down, Zal. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing. I've been praying for God's wisdom for five weeks, and the Angel Sorush said I should retire."
"Oh."
"It's ok, man. It's ok."
"I'm sorry, it's just that I've never seen a king pray for wisdom before."

Zal takes a lot of convincing, but in the end Khosrow's serenity wins out and the court accepts his decision to retire. Then the Persian people take a lot of convincing, but the king's serenity wins out and they also accept his decision to retire.

Then he appoints the nobody noble Lohrasp as his successor, and everyone goes nuts again, Zal included.

Khosrow patiently explains that Lohrasp has all the necessary virtues: wisdom, royal ancestry, divine kingly radiance. Also, the angel Sorush said it was ok and the angel Sorush hasn't spoken to anyone since the Mythic Age. Zal mutters that he hadn't realised the royal ancestry bit, and concedes that Lohrasp is probably an okay choice for king. If the angel Sorush says so.

Khosrow then explains that he intends to ride off into the mountains and become a hermit. His court offer to escort him. The king explains that they seem to have missed the point of the 'hermit' thing, but they come anyway. In the mountains, he tells them to stay on the lush, green, fertile side, while he rides on down the desolate wilderness side. He patiently points out the symbolism: this side is lush, green and fertile, that side is desolate wilderness. Zal, Rostam and another hero, Gudarz, eventually get the hint. Several other heroes decide to stay with the king for a bit longer. On the desolate side of the mountain, Khosrow asks the remaining heroes to return, please, because there is a massive blizzard coming and anyone who stays here will die. The party camps, and the next morning Khosrow has vanished without a trace.

Then a massive blizzard comes along and everyone who stayed there dies.

Esfandyar
Lohrasp's son is Goshtasp, who is a bit troublesome and gets himself exiled, first to India and then to Rum. He marries a Rumi princess, kills a wolf and a dragon and ends up threatening Persia with a Rumi army. Lohrasp concedes the throne to him and retires to become a monk.

Goshtasp's son is Esfandyar, who is a bit troublesome and is imprisoned by his father for suspected treason. However, when yet another war against Turan starts going badly, Esfandyar is released and becomes the big hero of the war. He expects to be named as heir, but first, Goshtasp demands another service from him.

Esfandyar is to drag Rostam before him in chains.

Rostam still technically owes fealty to the Persian throne, but hasn't been around much since Khosrow's time and hasn't sworn an oath to Goshtasp. Esfandyar's son, Bahman, points out that they could probably just ask for his oath, but Esfandyar says that he has his orders and he'll show the old man, he'll see.

Bahman is sent as an emissary to Zabolestan. Bahman is a nice kid and easily befriends Rostam, and he explains the situation. Rostam says he's pretty happy to swear the oath, and he'll do it if Goshtasp comes and asks in person.

This is not good enough for Esfandyar, who knows it will not be good enough for Goshtasp.

"Rostam! I bid you yield in my father's name!"
"That's pretty reasonable, I've served the kings of Persia for...must be more than six hundred years by now. You should come into the palace, meet the family..."
"My orders are to bring you to my father in chains!"
"Oh, child."

Things escalate, and soon Rostam and Esfandyar are exchanging insults. Zal counsels that Rostam just go and give Goshtasp his oath, but Rostam refuses to yield, and before long it's maces at dawn.

The duel is evenly matched, and Rostam's brother, Zavareh, gets a bit bored and decides to pick a fight with Esfandyar's son Nushazar. Given that each of these are in charge of an army, when the situation comes to blows it comes to a lot of blows; Nushazar and his brother Mehrnush are killed by Zavareh and Rostam's son Faramarz.

The pitched battle interrupts the duel. Rostam is enraged that the battle started without his orders and Esfandyar is enraged that his sons have been killed. Rostam offers to hand his brother and son over to justice, but Esfandyar decides to blame Rostam and the duel starts up again.

Towards the end of the day, Rostam realises that Esfandyar is actually invincible. Rostam retreats, heavily wounded, but promises to come back the next day to continue the battle. Esfandyar sends his sons' coffins back to his father, with a letter telling him that this is a result of his orders.

Rostam consults with his family. Zal says that the easiest way out for Rostam at this point is probably to die, but he does know a slightly trickier way. He sets fire to one of his magic feathers, and summons the Simorgh.

The Simorgh uses its beak, talons and extensive knowledge of surgery to put Rostam into a stable condition. It then asks why he's being so stupid as to fight Esfandyar, who (a) is invincible and (b) possesses the divine kingly radiance. Rostam explains that it's about honour, and the Simorgh says that maybe it could be about not dying instead. Rostam sees the sense in this, and agrees to call off his duel. The Simorgh takes him to an enchanted garden and gives him the branch of a tamarisk tree to use as an arrow that will, if necessary, kill Esfandyar. It instructs him to confront Esfandyar and to try and talk him down, with the arrow being a last resort.

The next morning Rostam, mostly but not entirely healed, tries to talk Esfandyar down. He offers to let Esfandyar lead him to the king's presence, although preferably not in chains. Esfandyar insists on continuing the fight, and mocks, taunts and challenges him.

Reluctantly, Rostam shoots him in the face.

With his dying words, Esfandyar forgives Rostam, and Zal, and the Simorgh, and lays the blame for his death on his father Goshtasp.  Goshtasp's courtiers explain that Esfandyar refused all reasonable requests from Rostam, and persisted because of his father's orders. They too condemn Goshtasp, not Rostam.

Bahram stays with Rostam, and is fostered in Zabolestan until he comes of age. Rostam sends a letter to Goshtasp, offering his apologies, a sizeable tribute and an explanation of the events leading to the death of Esfandyar. Bahram, well-trained and glowing with divine kingly radiance, returns to his grandfather's court. The repentant king gladly accepts his grandson as his heir, and the two become inseparable.

The death of Rostam 
Many hundreds of years have past since Rostam was born to Zal, but Zal still keeps an active harem, and one slave - a musician and a storyteller - bears him a beautiful son. However, this one turns out to be one too many. Astrologers come from miles around to prepare a horoscope, and it's all bad. The boy - Shaghad - is prophesied to ruin Zal's entire family line.

Bummer, says Zal.

The kid grows up beautiful, chatty and witty. He is sent to be trained in the kingdom of Kabol, a tributary of Zabolestan. He finds favour, and the king marries Shaghad to his daughter.

The time comes round for the annual tribute, and the king suggests to his new son-in-law that perhaps the tribute might be waived on account of it now all being in the family. Rostam does not agree, and demands the tribute. This causes tension in Kabol, and offends Shaghad, who more or less agrees with the king. Shaghad and the king begin plotting to take revenge on Rostam for asking for his perfectly legal and agreed tribute.

The plot goes like this: Shaghad and the king stage a fight, where Shaghad is insulted and runs home to Rostam. Meanwhile, the king and a hundred of his closest friends secretly dig the hunting grounds  full of spiked pit traps. Step three: profit.

In Zabolestan, Shaghad complains of having been bitterly hard done by. Rostam, fond of his brother, offers to invade. He grabs his other brother Zavareh and a small force and heads off to Kabol.

The king of Kabol receives Rostam warmly: I'm sorry, he says, I was drunk, I didn't mean it, please forgive me, would you like to go hunting?

The king describes the hunting grounds in such glowing terms that Rostam can't resist. On arrival, Raksh, his horse, is immediately suspicious, but Rostam drives him on.

Unfortunately, the hunting grounds are full of spiked pit traps, and Rostam and Raksh fall into one.

Raksh dies immediately; Rostam is heavily pierced, but manages to crawl out of the pit. He sees Shaghad and the king of Kabol, and swears that his son Faramarz will avenge him.

He asks a final request of Shaghad: that his bow be strung and left in front of him with two arrows. Shaghad, not the brightest of Zal's sons, complies.

"Uh. Why do you want a bow, brother?"
"Oh, you know. There might be lions."
"That seems reasonable."  

At this point, Shaghad suddenly realises that the mightiest hero Persia has ever seen is armed, wounded and angry, and he runs off to hide behind a tree. Rostam draws his bow and fires an arrow through the tree, pinning his brother to it. Shaghad dies.

And then Rostam dies.

And also Zavareh dies. The hunting field is full of spiked pit traps.

Aftermath
Faramarz is sent to recover his father's and uncle's bodies from the spiked pit traps, and he buries them in a grand tomb.  Then he does indeed take vengeance on the king of Kabol, sacking his city and executing his family by flame. He also burns Shaghad's tree and much of the surrounding countryside.

Unfortunately, Faramarz's elaborately destructive show of vengeance inspires the king, Bahram, who remembers that his father was killed by Rostam. Moreover, he believes that Rostam used Zal's sorcery to do it, and, most importantly, he now knows that Rostam is dead. Zal is taken prisoner, and Zabolestan is plundered. Faramarz rebels, and gathers a force to attack the king and free his grandfather, but the attack is unsuccessful and Faramarz is killed.

Bahram's anger is sated, and his advisors warn him that his actions are straying from the path of divine kingliness, what with taking vengeance on the people that raised him and all. He relents, and releases Zal. Bahman, no longer driven mad by vengeance, turns his attention to his people, and becomes a moderately okay king: "Some were pleased with his reign, while others lived in grief and sorrow."

Seeing out the Heroic Age with one last king
When Bahman dies, he passes the throne to his pregnant daughter, Homay. Homay is a good queen, loved by her people, wise and just. She quickly realises that she doesn't actually want to give up kinging in favour of an actual baby. She calls in a carpenter, and asks him to make a watertight box.

The carpenter asks how big a box.

Baby sized, says Homay.

When the baby is born, Homay puts him in the box along with some jewels, and sends him down the river. The child is found by a fuller and his wife, who themselves have just lost a baby. They resolve to bring him up as if he were their own, and name him Darab.

"Husband, I think that baby might be royal."
"What makes you say that, wife?"
"The jewels. The cloth. And he's got the queen's profile. But mostly..."
"Yes, wife?"
"Mostly, it's the divine kingly radiance."

Darab grows up strong and stubborn and martially inclined, and also tends to glow. He resents learning his adopted family's trade, which he sees as beneath him. Eventually, he becomes uncontrollable, and the fuller tells him the truth about his origins. This all makes sense to Darab, who felt that he never really fit in. He claims the remaining jewels, uses them to kit himself as a warrior and a horseman, and goes off to join the army.

While on campaign, a large storm blows up, and floods out the tents. Darab takes shelter in some ruins. The commander, Reshanavad, sees him sleeping, and seems to hear the wind singing about how this is actually the king of Persia. This seems a bit odd to him, so he asks the wind if it knows what it's talking about, and it assures him that it does. Nodding, Reshanavad wakes the kid up, upgrades his equipment and asks him where he's from. Darab tells him about the box and the fuller. Rehanavad sends for the fuller and his wife, and sends a full report to Homay.

The army then marches on Greece. Darab distinguishes himself mightily, and Reshanavad offers him a large share of the plunder. Darab takes a lance but otherwise refuses. On the army's return to Persia, Darab is presented to Homay. The queen immediately recognises him as her son. Reshanavad confirms that this is indeed the boy he wrote about. Homay names Darab her heir.

"Also, sorry about abandoning you as a child."
"No worries, mum. What were you going to do, give up kinging in favour of an actual baby?"

Darab becomes king and continues the campaign against Greece. He marries a Greek princess, fathers a child on her, and then sends her back to her father.

The boy is named Sekander, and grows up believing himself the rightful king of Persia, if not the world...

Next: The Historic Age.

The Book of Kings III: Rostam and the King

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.

The Invasion of Mazanderan
Kay Qobad is succeeded by his son, Kay Kavus, and the chapter opens by warning the reader that "...if a sickly branch grows from a good root, you should not curse the root for this."

Kay Kavus is my favourite king ever.

Shortly after Kavus takes the throne, a musician from the demon country of Mazanderan arrives and sings songs of his homeland. He makes it sound so nice that Kavus decides to invade. Zal is not impressed.

"Sire. That's a really stupid idea. Like a really stupid idea. Like, in the history of stupid ideas, this is up there with 'make the demon Eblis your cook'."
"But wouldn't it be awesome if we won?"
"Sire. Jamshid, with his magic seal and ring, never invaded Mazanderan. Feraydun, who defeated the Demon-King Zahhak, never invaded Mazanderan. Tahmures, the Binder of Demons, never invaded Mazanderan, and he rode Ahriman like a horse."
"But we would be more awesome than all of those guys!"

Kavus will not be dissuaded, and leaves Zal and Rostam to guard the home front. After a brief period of successful pillaging, the entire Persian force is promptly captured by demons. The Persians are imprisoned by the White Demon and his lieutenant Arzhang, and Kavus is blinded.

Kavus is, however, able to dispatch a messenger to Zal, firstly to apologise for not listening to him and secondly to beg for help. Since Kay Kavus took the whole army, Zal has only one option: he sends Rostam.

Rostam has a choice: he can follow Kavus' army and fight off the entire demon horde, or he can take a shortcut through the mountains. He takes the latter course. He faces seven trials:

• a lion (dispatched by his horse, Raksh)
• thirst (prayer; guided to a spring by a ram)
• a dragon (Rostam and Raksh in tandem)
• a witch (lariat/dagger combo)
• a farmer, Olad (lariat/diplomacy combo)
• Arzhang (barehanded decapitation)
• the White Demon (sword/dagger combo)

 The White Demon's blood restores Kavus' sight, and the Persian army is able to defeat the remaining forces in Mazanderan. Rostam's farmer, Olad, is placed on the the throne, Mazanderan is secured as a tributary, and everyone returns home in triumph.

The Mythic Persian Space Program
This is a small episode, but one of my favourites: Kay Kavus, after a conversation with a demon, decides that being king of the world just isn't good enough.

"I'm ruler," said Kavus, "of all that I see
But I don't see enough. That's the trouble with me."

    (with apologies to Mr Geisel.)

Kavus has a plan: he has his warriors kidnap baby eagles, which he feeds up to monstrous size. He then ties four giant eagles to his throne and sets off for outer space. He ascends past the clouds and into the realm of the angels. But eventually the eagles tire as eagles must, and the spacethrone falls back to earth. The vessel is destroyed and the king finds himself stuck in a tree, miraculously unhurt, except from his pride. He his rescued by his heroes, who berate him violently, and returns to his palace. After a period of shame and sulking, he leaves his chambers, determined to be a just and wise king.

Sohrab, son of Rostam
Sohrab has a hard life.

So it comes about that Rostam loses his horse to Turkish horse thieves, near the border with Turan. He heads to the nearest town - Samangan - and is welcomed by the local king, who puts him up and offers to find Raksh. That night, he is seduced by the king's daughter, Tahmineh. Raksh is found the next morning and Rostam rides home, leaving Tahmineh with a clasp that she is to give to her son, should she happen to have one.

Time passes and sure enough, a son is born. Tahmineh names him Sohrab. Sohrab grows up quickly, displaying alarming prowess at combat and warfare. When he asks his mother who his father is, she tells him. Then she points out that it's probably a bad idea for Afrasyab, king of Turan, to find out - and also Rostam, come to that, because he'll probably want him to go to Zavolestan, breaking his mother's heart.

Sohrab thinks for a bit, and then decides that the best way to resolve this dilemma is is to raise an army, defeat Kay Kavus, put Rostam on the throne of Persia, come back and take out Afrasyab, and rule Turan himself. 

Afrasyab finds out about the first part of the plan when Sohrab attacks Persia. Not knowing the latter parts, he approves, and sends additional forces. Kavus, on the other hand, hears that his kingdom is being invaded by a new hero, and sends for Rostam. Rostam gets drunk with the messenger and is a bit slow in arriving. Kavus picks a fight with him, Rostam heads home in a huff, and Kavus needs to lead the entire rest of his army to deal with Sohrab. Rostam has a change of heart on the road and heads to the front to investigate this new enemy hero. Kavus and Rostam are reconciled.

Meanwhile, Afrasyab's general, Human, starts to get nervous as he sees the size of the Persian force. Sohrab tells him not to worry, he'll take care of it. Sure enough, Sohrab is able to take on much of the army single-handedly. Eventually he challenges Kavus to single combat. Kavus sends out Rostam as his champion, because what are knights and heroes for?

Halfway through the fight, Sohrab realises who he's fighting, mostly because it's so unexpectedly difficult. He is delighted, and tries to strike up a conversation. Rostam, however, has no idea who he's fighting, and keeps it up. The fight goes on all day, and at dusk they decide to retire to their respective camps, with the intention of taking it up again in the morning.

The next day, Sohrab tries to engage Rostam in a conversation about lineage, but Rostam refuses to be drawn. They fight, and an angered Sohrab knocks Rostam to the ground. Rostam claims that the Persian custom is that it's unsporting to kill an opponent at the first fall. Sohrab, not wanting to kill Rostam anyway, retires to his camp, where he is mocked by his comrades for falling for 'that old trick'.

The next day, the fight begins again, and this time Rostam is victorious. He strikes Sohrab a mortal blow. As he lays dying, Sohrab finally gets a chance to explain his ancestry. He shows Rostam the token that he had left with Tahmineh. Rostam is heartbroken. With his last breath, Sohrab asks Rostam to be merciful to his troops. Said troops, deprived of their hero, sneak off while no-one is looking. Rostam ensures that Sohrab is buried with full honours, and then tries to end his own life. His comrades talk him down, and he heads home to Zavolestan, desolate.

Seyavash
Seyavash has an even harder life.

So one day a group of Kay Kavus' knights find a wandering princess, who has fled from her brutal father. They all fall in love with her, and start bickering over who should have her. In the end they decide to consult the king.

The king falls in love with her, and claims her for himself.

Long story short: there's Seyavash.

Rostam offers to raise him in the ways of the court, which Kavus agrees to. The boy grows up big and strong and wise, the son that Rostam never had (since he killed the son he did have). When Seyavash comes of age, he is presented at his father's court, and everyone is terribly impressed.

Especially Kavus' chief wife, Sudabeh.

Sudabeh tries to seduce Seyavash, and fails, because the boy has been raised by Rostam and is terribly honourable. Also, she's his stepmother. Piqued, Sudabeh tells Kavus that Seyavash had tried to force himself on her. She procures two dead demon babies, fakes labour, and presents them to Kavus as evidence of the wicked crime. Seyavash is forced to prove his innocence through trial by fire, though Sudabeh claims that Zal's magic saved him from the flames, not god. Seyavash suggests, wisely, that the best outcome is probably the one that doesn't involve anyone burning to death at all, and the matter rests.

At this point, Afrasyab decides to send an army to invade. At his request and on Rostam's advice, Kavus appoints Seyavash to defend the borders. Seyavash quickly routs the Turanians, secures the border, brokers a truce, takes hostages and secures an agreement with Afrasyab that he will never invade again. He's just that good. 

Kavus tells him that's rubbish, and that Afrasyab really needs to be destroyed: Seyavash is to break the truce, kill the hostages, and march on Turan.

"Isn't that both incredibly stupid and totally dishonorable?"
"You just don't understand kingship like I do."

Rostam tries to convince Kavus of his folly, but the king refuses to see reason. Seyavash finds himself trapped. He can't break his word, and he can't disobey his king. Everyone is sympathetic. Especially the enemy.

The generals and princes of Turan, impressed with his honour and his divine kingly radiance, convince him to defect. Afrasyab takes him into his household, despite fears on all sides that Seyavash will usurp his own throne.  Afrasyab takes the view that Kavus can't live forever, and it will do him no harm to have the next king of Persia as a friend and trusted ally.

Seyavash marries Afrasyab's daughter Farigis, befriends Afrasyab's advisor Piran, and eventually establishes his own kingdom. Seyavash is the picture of the wise prince, measured, just and honourable, renowned through all the world. He never once loses his divine kingly radiance. His capital, Seyavashgerd, becomes a glorious heaven-on-earth.

But Seyavash is fated to die young: Afrasyab's brother, Garsivaz, becomes jealous of his influence. He starts feeding the king rumours that Seyavash is gathering troops from Iran and China. Stoked by these whispers, Afrasyab's fears become too much for him, and he turns on his son-in-law. Seyavash, unprepared for this betrayal, is defeated in battle, and brutally murdered by Garsivaz. Seyavashgerd is laid waste.

Piran is able to save the pregnant Farigis from her father's and uncle's wrath, and she gives birth to Seyavash's son in secret. The boy is named Kay Khosrow, and is raised as a shepherd, far from Afrasyab's court.

When Rostam hears of Seyavash's death, he murders Sudabeh and lays waste to Turan. Kay Khosrow is brought back into Persia by another hero, Giv. In time Khosrow succeeds his grandfather as king - and all in all does rather better at it.

The Seyavash sequence is deeply moving: a just and wise prince, made cautious through self-doubt, brought down by the short, selfish horizons of lesser men. I cried.


Next: The End of the Heroic Age.

The Book of Kings II: Sam, the son of Sam, and the son of the son of Sam

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.

The mythic age blends into the heroic age, marked in particular by the earth-shaking hero Rostam.

Sam, and the birth of Zal
Sam is one of Manuchehr's vassals, the ruler of Zavolestan. At this point in the narrative, he has just fathered his one and only child on one of his more attractive concubines. However, the boy is born with white hair, an absolutely terrible omen, so the women of the household conspire to keep the birth a secret until they work out what to do.

Eventually, they devise a plan: stop keeping it a secret. They nominate a particularly courageous wet-nurse to be the bearer of bad tidings. Sam orders the baby exiled, and the poor lad is abandoned in the mountains, near the lair of the giant magical bird, the Simorgh.

The Simorgh, hunting for food for her own offspring, finds the exposed baby. She swoops down to take him to her nest, with the intention of feeding him to her young, but the bird family takes pity on the adorable child and he is adopted into the nest. The boy grows into a fine young lad, fed directly from the beak of the Simorgh. Soon passing travellers take note of the attractive, mysterious youth in the mountains, and the rumour spreads.

Back in his palace, Sam starts having prophetic dreams, where he is congratulated on how well his son has turned out, and castigated for abandoning a child in the mountains. His entire court tells him, "Yeah, that was a pretty crap thing to do," so he sends out his counsellors and lieutenants to find the boy and bring him home.

The Simorgh learns of Sam's expedition and tells the boy that it's probably time for him to return to his father. The boy is terribly upset about being kicked out of the nest, but the Simorgh tells him that actually, Persia's pretty great. Palaces, wine, fighting, gems, princesses - all kinds of cool shit. She gives him some of her feathers, telling him to burn them whenever he needs her. Then she drops him at his father's feet and flies off. Sam is overjoyed, noting his well-formed limbs, diving kingly radiance, and perspicacious gaze, and ignoring his weird white hair.

Sam names the child Zal, and presents him to Manuchehr. Zal's horoscopes are read, and they're pretty impressive. Sam is sent off to attack demons, so he appoints Zal to rule in his stead. He points out to his people how lucky they are to have a king who has been raised by a magical bird. Zal, having been raised by a giant magical bird, doesn't know anything about kinging. His first act is to summon everyone in the land to teach him everything.

Zal becomes the most learned man in Persia.

Zal, and the birth of Rostam
Zal decides to travel his kingdom, and meets Mehrab, King of Kabol. Mehrab is a pretty good dude, but he's an idol-worshiper and also the grandson of Zahhak. During the visit, Zal hears tell of Mehrab's amazingly beautiful daughter, Rudabeh, who no-one has ever seen.

"But if... actually, nevermind."

Zal is seized by a longing for this amazing woman, and camps out near Kabol. Meanwhile, Rudabeh hears of Zal, and asks her handmaids about him. They say that he's absolutely awesome, except for his weird white hair. Rudabeh falls immediately in love, and recruits her handmaids to help arrange a marriage. The handmaids are initially shocked - did she not hear the bit about the weird white hair? - but Rudabeh pulls rank and sends them to invite Zal over.

Five handmaids sneak into Zal's camp, and tell him that Rudabeh wants to meet him, and that he'll need a rope. That night, Zal sneaks up to the palace. Rudabeh waves from the battlements and looses her impossibly long hair for Zal to climb. Zal points out that he has a rope, as instructed, and uses that to climb the walls instead.

"Seriously. Your handmaids said, bring a rope, so a brought a rope."

Zal and Rudabeh spend an enticing evening together, and Zal proposes. He also points out that neither Manuchehr nor Sam are going to te very happy about this. Rudabeh acknowledges that her father will also not be best pleased. Nevertheless, vows of eternal love are exchanged.

An aside on the Persian priesthood
I adore the Persian priesthood. They navigate a complicated path between the eternal truths of the heavenly spheres and the ambitions and desires of their earthly kings.

"So, guys, what do the stars think of this plan?"
"They... they think it's a really stupid plan."
"Do they say what happens to soothsayers who don't agree with their king?"
"The stars say that you are wiser than we are and probably know what you're doing."

Back to Zal
Zal gives his priests a rousing speech on the importance of marriage and children, and asks them to consult the heavens about whether he should marry the great-granddaughter of an infamous demon-king. The priesthood replies that he is wiser than they are and probably knows what he's doing. Zal accepts this advice and writes to his father.

Sam also seeks the advice of his own priests, who spend some time consulting the heavens looking for an acceptable answer. To everyone's surprise, the heavens think it's a great idea. Zal and Rudabeh will prosper, and their son will be the mightiest hero the son has ever seen.

Sam gives his consent and heads off to tell Manuchehr.

Meanwhile, Rudabeh's mother, Sindokht, gets wind of Rudabeh's illicit love affair. There is a confrontation, and Rudabeh spills all.  Sindokht considers Zal a pretty decent son-in-law, so long as Manuchehr doesn't become angry and raze Kabol to the ground. She tells Mehrab that Zal has completely seduced Rudabeh. Mehrab goes into a rage, threatening to murder his daughter, but Sidokht points out that being allied to Sam isn't the worst thing in the world, assuming Manuchehr doesn't raze Kabol to the ground. Rudabeh begs her father to be allowed to marry Zal, but Mehrab refuses.

The news of the love affair arrives in Manuchehr's palace before Sam does. Manuchehr announces that Zahhak's house will not be allowed to join with Sam's, and that he will raise Kabol to the ground first. His priests offer up a preemptive "You are wiser than we are and probably know what you are doing."

When Sam arrives, Manuchehr asks him how the campaign to rid the world of Zahhak's offspring is going, and orders him to burn Kabol to the ground. Sam rides off with a resigned sigh.

When Zal hears about this, he heads heads humbly into the middle of Sam's camp. Zal asks Sam politely not to burn Kabol to the ground. He doesn't mess around, however: he plays the "you abandoned me as a child to be raised by a giant magical bird" card. Sam relents, and drafts a letter to Sam explaining that he doesn't want to burn Kabol to the ground and would rather his son marry Mehrab's daughter.

Mehrab, hearing of the approaching Persians, proposes to appease them by publicly murdering his wife and daughter. Sindokht proposes a better plan: she will go and beg mercy from Sam. This turns out to be a pretty decent plan, as Sam has already been convinced that he really wants her daughter to marry his son.

With no-one immediately threatening to burn Zabol to the ground, Zal is sent see Manuchehr with Sam's letter. Meanwhile, Manuchehr has decided to actually consult his priesthood, and they've given him the same prophecy as Sam got.

"Wait - you said that I was wiser than you are and probably know what I'm doing. That's what you say when it's a really stupid plan."
"The stars have no comment on that matter."

Instead, Manuchehr has Zal tested. The court sages pose some riddles and brain teasers. Zal, the most learned man in Persia, passes easily. The court warriors line up to challenge him. Zal defeats all comers. Manuchehr says that he will allow Zal to marry Rudebah and calls off the razing of Zabol.

Zal returns to Sam and calls off the army. Mehrab is so relieved that Zabol is not to be burned to the ground that he happily consents to his daughter's marriage. Zal and Rudebah are wed, and everyone is happy.

Rudebah is soon with child, but when the time comes to give birth she is struck by a terrible illness and begins to wither away. Zal is anxious until he remembers the Simorgh's gift. He burns a portion of a feather and the bird arrives. The Simorgh prescribes a detailed and technical medical regime involving a sorcerer, a glittering knife, a magic healing salve, and the feather. The surgery goes well and Rostam, greatest of all Persian heroes, is born. Everybody is absolutely taken with him, especially his grandfathers. Mehrab says that he and the boy will restore Zahhak's line to greatness, and everyone has a good laugh.

Interlude
Things change in Persia. Manuchehr dies and is succeeded by his son Nozar. The neighbouring nation of Turan, led by King Pashang, invades Persia. Nozar is killed by the Turanian prince Afrasyab, who briefly takes the throne of Persia until defeated by Zal. Zal places Zav, probably the rightful heir, on the Persian throne. Afrasyab kills his own brother, Aghiras, making himself the heir to the throne of Turan. King Zav holds the Persian border for many years but isn't able to do anything about the Turanians on his border, and when he dies, Afrasyab leads another attack...

Rostam's first battle
Zal is called upon to defend Persia, but he points out that he's getting pretty old and his son is actually a lot more awesome. However, no-one has a horse strong enough to carry him. Zal orders all of the horses in Zavolestan and Kabol to parade before Rostam. There comes by a foal as big as its mother. It doesn't have a brand, and Rostam asks whose he is. The herdsmen say that he's no-one's, because whenever someone tries to rope him, the mother attacks them viciously. Rostam tries to rope the young horse, and the mother attacks him viciously. However, he shouts at her and she runs away, terrified. Rostam asks how much the horse is, and a herdsman says that if he's going to defend Persia, that'll probably do, especially since no-one else can ride him.

The horse is named Rakhsh.

Zal and Rostam are now prepared to defend Persia, but don't actually have a king. Zal consults the priests, who tell him where to find Kay Qobad, a descendent of Feraydun. Kay Qobad leads the army into the field. Rostam rides straight for Afrasyab, and throws him to the ground. The Turanian forces break and are routed. Afrasyab tells his father that fighting Persia is actually really hard and has just got a lot harder, and Pashang sues for peace.

Next: Rostam, Kay Kavus and the Persian space program.

The Book of Kings I: Persian Prince Parade

The Myth: Tales of Ancient Persia! Kings! Princes! Heroes! Demons! Giant birds! Battles! Conquest! Divine kingly radiance! The grandest sweep of history!
The Book: Shahnameh, the Persian Book of Kings
The Author: Abolqasem Ferdowski, some time in the tenth century.
This text: a 2006 translation by Dick Davis.
Price: This one cost me $29.99 from Dymocks, and it was money well spent. Seems to be pricier on the internet, though.

So the Shahnameh is enormous fun. It covers the grand scope of the Persian empire, from its mythical beginnings to its fall to Arab conquest. The kings and heroes are magnificent characters, well drawn and vivid. There are champions of justice, dodgy viziers, kings foolish and wise, beautiful princesses, terrible demons, shifty wizards and treacherous siblings. It covers the whole world, including distant China, exotic India, and glamorous Rome, all ruled from Iran in the centre of the world.

The translation is a prose one and abridged, but it's mellifluous and engaging. This is such a beautiful book, with rough cut pages and lovely illustrations throughout.  

There are three main periods covered by the Shahnameh: the mythic era, where kings spoke thirty  languages and rode demons as horses; the heroic era, where the mighty, invincible Rostam defends Persia from every threat, including his own king's foolishness; and the historic era, from the reign of Sekander through to the fall of the Empire.

To start: the Mythic Kings.

Kayumars
The first man to ever become king of the world - and to glow with divine kingly radiance, the mark of the wise Persian king - is Kayumars, who rules from the mountains and teaches his people how to prepare food and how to make clothes out of leopard skins.

Kayumar's son, Siamak, is killed by the Black Demon, son of the Arch-demon Ahriman. Kayumars joins forces with his grandson Hushang on a mission of vengeance, with an army of fairies, leopards, wolves, tigers, birds, and domestic animals. Hushang defeats the Black Demon, and Kayumars fades from the world, leaving Hushang king.

Hushang
Hushang's reign is marked by the discovery of fire (he throws a piece of flint at a dragon, and it sparks as it bounces off) and, shortly afterwards, blacksmithing. He also invents irrigation and agriculture, and separates the beasts into domestic animals for farming and wild animals for hunting.

Hushang is a tireless, industrious king, but he eventually leaves the world.

Tahmures, the Binder of Demons
Hushang's son is Tahmures, known as the Binder of Demons. Tahmures teaches people how to shear sheep and weave wool, and how to train cheetahs for hunting, and how to breed chickens and hawks.

Tahmures is kept on the straight and narrow by his vizier, Shahrasb, who provides wise and careful advice. Because of this, Tahmures is purified of all evil and is able to bind Ahriman with spells, and ride him as a mount to tour the world. This makes all the other demons nervous, and they plot to overthrow him. They gather in a large army, led by the black demon - possibly the Black Demon, last seen being bifurcated by Hushang. Tahmures gets wind of this and is able to ambush them. He single-handedly defeats the entire army, subduing two-thirds with spells and a third with his huge mace. The demons beg for mercy, offering all their secrets. They teach him how to write - in thirty scripts - and he becomes suffused with knowledge, glowing like the sun.

He passes on this knowledge, and eventually leaves the world.

Jamshid
Tahmures is mourned greatly, but his son Jamshid has learned well and is a just and wise king. Jamshid spends fifty years inventing ways to make weapons and armour, and teaching his warriors. Then he spends another fifty developing the textile trade - spinning and weaving, dyeing and sewing. After that, another fifty years arranging his society, separating out the priests and the warriors and the farmers and the tradesmen, and teaching them their roles. Then he orders demons to build him public baths and a castle, and then spends another fifty years developing mining and gemcraft, perfumery, medicine and shipbuilding, revealing his secrets to his people as he goes.

In the end, Jamshid rules for three hundred glorious years, with no death or evil, and with everyone having their own personal demon-slave. But in the end he grows vain and arrogant, and loses his divine kingly radiance.

Zahhak the Demon King
While this is going on, the king of the Arabs, Merdas, has just sired a son, Zahhak. Merdas is pretty just and honest as Arabs go - he's no Persian, but he's not a bad guy. Zahhak, on the other hand, is ambitious and evil. The demon Eblis persuades him to murder his father and take his throne.

In secret, Eblis signs on as Zahhak's cook. Kuyamars taught people how to eat, but eating meat is not really a thing yet, so the menu of chicken and lamb kebabs, and veal cooked with saffron, rosewater, wine and musk, is pretty damn impressive. Zahhak offers him anything his heart desires. Eblis says he really just wants to nuzzle Zahhak's kingly shoulders.

Sure, says Zahhak, that's not at all weird.

Where Eblis's icky secretions touch each of Zahhak's shoulders, a snake erupts, and then Eblis vanishes. Zahhak spends a couple of years tormented by poisonous snakes biting him from his shoulders. Then Eblis turns up disguised as a wise man and convinces Zahhak that to pacify the snakes he needs to feed them a human brain every day. This seems to work regarding the snakes, but is less than effective in not ushering in a thousand year reign of terror.

Jamshid has lost his heavenly mandate at this stage and no longer glows with divine kingly radiance. Zahhak defeats him and moves in. He takes Jamshid's two sisters as concubines and advisors, and the aforementioned millennial reign begins.

Nine-hundred and some years later, Zahhak starts getting dreams of Feraydun the Persian, who is going to end his reign. The wise men of the court are extremely reluctant to tell their demon king that his time is up, but in the end they point out that everyone's reign ends someday, and that Feraydun - when he's born - will be motivated by the death of his father at Zahhak's hands, and also the death of the magical cow that raised him.

So Zahhak tries really hard not to kill any descendants of Persian kings and/or magic cows, and fails on both counts. The prophecy is fulfilled. Feraydun raises an army in India and invades while Zahhak is out of the palace. He takes the demon king's concubines as his queens, because they are thousand-year-old sorceresses and also beautiful and also he may not actually know they're his great-great-great-etc. aunts.

Zahhak's people turn against him and his army is defeated. Finally, he sneaks alone into the palace to murder his treacherous concubines, but is captured and imprisoned. Feraydun intends to murder him, but is advised by the angel Sorush to show mercy. Zahhak is therefore bound in chains in a cave for all eternity, with nails piercing his vital organs and his blood spilling on the floor.

Feraydun
Feraydun rules for five hundred years, guided by his ageless sorceress aunt/wives, 'and not a day was given over to evil.' He is well loved by his people, and not just because he isn't feeding their brains to his shoulders. His reign is mostly defined by his relationship with his three sons, Salm, Tur and Iraj. After observing his boys, he puts Salm in charge of the Western parts of the world, Tur in charge of China and the land of the Turks, and Iraj, the youngest, in charge of Iran, which is the important bit in the middle. Salm and Tur resent this. They murder Iraj and send his head to his father as a way of demonstrating how put out they are.

Iraj left his wife pregnant, and she gives birth to a daughter. Feraydun takes back the throne and raises Iraj's daughter, and then her son, who is called Manuchehr. (The daughter is not named, but the poet notes that she resembles her father closely.)

Salm and Tur hear of the birth of Manuchehr and are worried that he might take vengeance for the murder of his grandfather. They send an envoy to Feraydun laden with gifts, and offer to swear fealty to the boy. Feraydun suspects a ruse, and scornfully refuses. He tells the envoy that they are entirely correct: Manuchehr will indeed be coming in force to exact vengeance. The two evil brothers gather the entire forces of China and the West, and march on Persia in the hopes of getting in first. Manuchehr's forces smash through Tur's army and kill him, then after a series of battles Salm is also cornered and killed.

Feraydun places Manuchehr on the throne of Persia, and leaves the world.

Manuchehr rules well and wisely, but what's more interesting is what happens to the son of his vassal, Sam.

Next: The coming of Rostam.

The Voyage of the Argo II: ...and Back Again

The Myth: The Argo! Jason! Heracles! Heroes! Gods! Goddesses! Monsters! Sorceresses! Dragons! Rocks! Sea travel! Countless screaming Argonauts!
The Book: The Argonautica
The Author: Apollonius of Rhodes (some time in the 3rd century BCE)
This text: An etext of an 1912 prose translation by R. C. Seaton, R. C. My version is the Charles Rivers Editors version.
Price: This one cost me 81 cents from Amazon, but there are free versions available.

(Previously...)

Book III: Still There.
The Argonauts arrive in Colchis, completely unobserved - except by the goddesses Hera and Athena. Hera asks Athena what her plan is.

Athena, goddess of wisdom, says, "Dunno. I thought we'd wing it."

Hera scoffs and says that she has a plan: romance. They head back to Olympus to enlist Cypris, goddess of love and sarcasm - or, more particularly, her son.

"Hera. Athena. To what do I owe this overwhelming pleasure? I am so rarely visited by such powerful goddesses."
"Cut the crap, Cypris, we need your kid."
"It would be my greatest honour to humbly serve the great Queen of the Gods."
"I said cut the crap. Go get Eros."

Cypris has some difficulty with this, because Eros is a little shit-

"That's because you're a crap mother."
"Fuck off, Hera. My real mum is way prettier than you."

-and needs to be bribed with a shiny thing. Cypris finds him cheating at dice with Ganymedes, and produces the shiniest thing there is: a golden sparkly ball that Zeus played with as a child. Eros accepts this commission, and heads off to Colchis to shoot Aeetes' daughter, Medea.

Meanwhile, Jason explains his plan to the Argonauts:

"I'll go into the city and ask Aeetes if he'll give the fleece to me."
"That's brilliant! But what if it doesn't work?"
"We'll wing it."

So Jason heads off to the city with his cousins, the sons of Phrixus. Here he meets his cousins' mother, Chalciope, and her much younger sister, Medea. Medea doesn't normally spend a lot of time in the city, preferring to do dark magic at the Temple of Hecate. However, she's here in time to be shot by Eros, and to fall utterly in love with Jason. Aeetes hears the commotion and asks what's going on, and why his grandsons have come back so early. Other Argus explains that their ship sank, and they were rescued by their Greek cousin on their father's side, who has an awesome ship.

Aeetes assumes that a shipful of heavily armed godlings can only be after his throne. He sets Jason a test: he's to harness the two fire-breathing bulls of bronze, use them to plough the field of Ares, sow the field with dragon's teeth, and kill all the armed men that grow from them. Aeetes does this all the time, and he won't give the fleece to someone who won't.

This all sounds a bit too hard and complicated for Jason, so he goes off for a sulk. He explains the trial to the Argonauts, and sighs and says that it's impossible. The typical Argonaut response to this is, "Pfff. No it's not. I'll do it."

Other Argus chimes in at this point and says that, no, actually, Jason has to do this himself. He goes on to explain that he has a brilliant and not at all totally wussy plan: he'll ask his Aunt Medea to use magic to cheat. This plan is met with general Argonaut approval, with one or two dissenters.

It turns out that Chalciope is way ahead of him, on the grounds that if anything happens to Jason her sons will probably be the next to face Aeetes' wrath. She heads to Medea's chambers herself.

Medea is a bit of a mess at this point: she's having terrifying/exciting dreams about being dragged away from Colchis by Jason, which he can't do if he's dead. Although, since she's a terrifying black sorceress, it's more that he can't do it as easily if he's dead. But Medea is completely lovelorn and is not thinking clearly. She comes upon Chalciope and Other Argus arguing about the best way to win her over. She asks them what's up and they tell her: we need some black magic to save Jason.

Ok, says Medea. Go away now.

"That was easier than I expected."

Medea, despite being unwilling to betray her father, spends the night conjuring dark sorceries and preparing a magic ointment for Jason, and heads off to the Temple of Hecate to finish off the ritual. She sends her handmaidens to secretly send Jason there, but she needn't have bothered since her nephews are spying on her, and also Hera's crows have a message for Mopsus, Jason's seer.

Jason and Medea meet for the first time in the doom-shrouded Temple of Hecate. Medea gives him the ointment and a spell for his weapons, and they flirt shamelessly until dawn. Medea asks what Iolcus is like, and Jason says that she'll love it.

Jason heads back to his comrades and enacts the rituals Medea has given him, making his weapons irresistable and his skin invulnerable.

Aeetes releases the bulls. Jason is able to resist their onslaught thanks to Medea's magic, and binds them to the yoke. He spends much of the day ploughing the field. He sows Aeetes' dragon's teeth and stops for a drink, then releases the bulls. The Earthborn men start sprouting, and Jason spends the late afternoon and early evening chopping them up.

Aeetes is not pleased.

Book IV: ...and Back Again.
Aeetes, far from honouring his bargain, aims to take vengeance on Jason, and also on his treacherous daughters, and also on his presumably treacherous grandsons. Medea, not unwisely, flees.

In the Temple of Hecate, she prays for guidance. Hecate's guidance is not comforting.

"Honestly, kid, you did a stupid thing for stupid reasons. Some other god was messing with you. Suck it up: the only way is forward."

She heads to the Argo, where she finds her nephews, and Jason. She pleas to be taken with them back to Hellas. Jason agrees, saying that he will marry her when they get home. She leads Jason to the temple where the golden fleece rests, and sings the dragon guarding it to sleep. They return to the ship with the sheep.

Aeetes learns of this and gives chase. Unfortunately, he gives chase in a chariot. That doesn't work very well, so he sends out his fleet instead. (To be fair, his horses are pretty awesome.)

Medea makes the ship stop so that she can offer a secret sacrifice to Hecate.  The poet once again says that he's not allowed to say what the sacrifice was, but says that the altar still stands today. This may no longer be the case, since "today" was more than two thousand years ago.

At a loss for a direction, Original Argus suggests that they head to Orchomenus, which was where Phineus the Seer told them they'd go. This suits Other Argus, because that's where he and his brothers were originally heading.

The Colchians, led by Aeetes son Apsyrtus, manage to outmaneuvre the Argo and corner them on an island. They let Jason know that he can keep the fleece - he did both win and successfully steal it - but Medea has to come back until her father says she can go. Jason considers this for exactly as long as it takes for Medea to find out about it. Jason is swayed by her tender feelings, and also her vicious curses and her threats to burn the ship to the waterline.

Jason points out that the only other option is to trick and kill her brother.

"Why the hell was that not Plan A?"
"Well, he's your-"
"Just get on with it. No, let me do it. You'll only screw it up."

Medea sends to Apsyrtus that she is willing to surrender herself, having, she says, been taken by force by the sons of Phrixus. She takes many of Jason's treasures to distract him. Apsyrtus, trusting his sister, goes alone to the rendezvous, and Jason leaps out and thwacks him, mortally.

At this point we learn that the Greeks had a ritual to atone for a treacherous murder, which is to cut off the extremities of the dead man, thrice lick up the blood and thrice spit it out.

The Argo sidles up to Apsyrtus' ship and the Greek heroes massacre the Colchians. The crew collects Jason and Medea, and they sail off. The Colchians, incensed at the murder of their commander, start to pursue, but Hera scares them off with a lightning show.

Zeus is similarly incensed, pronouncing the crew of the Argo cursed until they can be cleansed of their evil deeds. However, since no-one tells them, they blithely continue on their journey.

The curse doesn't actually last very long. After sailing around for a bit they come to the island of Circe, the sorceress sister of Aeetes. Circe recognises her niece, and notices Zeus' curse on Jason. She performs a cleansing ritual. Medea explains what's going on, leaving out the bit about getting her brother murdered.  Circe twigs anyway. She tells her niece that she's being a complete idiot, but frightening black sorceresses have to stick together and she's not going to kill her with death magic. She lets them go, with a parting shot that this is not to say that she approves, young lady.

By now Hera has realised that the Argo's current course will take them past the sea monster Charybdis and the rock Scylla, and so she organises a posse of gods to still the monster and steer the ship past the rock. Before the ship gets there they are serenaded by sirens, whose song is irresistable. The quick-thinking Orpheus pulls out his harp, and twangs loudly until the ship is safe. They lose only a single Argonaut: Butes, who leaps overboard but is saved by Cypris and taken away to a heavenly mountain.

Held by the sea goddess Thetis, the Argo is guided safely past Charybdis and past several gods, to arrive at the island Drepane, ruled by Alcinous and his wife Arete. Here they are met by a party of angry Colchians, who demand that Medea be handed over to them. Medea begs Arete not to let her go. Alcinous is keen to resolve the matter without bloodshed, and comes up with a solution: if Medea is still a virgin then she shall go back to her father, but if she's married she should go with her husband.

Alcinous then goes off to bed, and Arete sneaks out to tell Jason what the verdict will be. He tells the Argonauts, who arrange an impromptu wedding ceremony.

Next morning, Alcinous passes his sentence. Good thing we just got married, says Jason. The Colchians weigh up the prospect of returning to Aeetes without Medea, and decide to stay with Alcinous.

The Argo once again sets sail, and is promptly caught in a storm that blows them off course for nine days, to the coast of Libya. They find themselves caught in a flood tide and beached on a barren shore. They leave the ship and wander off along the beach. Eventually, they collapse into an exhausted sleep.

Jason is wakened at noon the next day by a party of nymphs, who take pity on him and on Medea. By means of a cryptic prophecy, the nymphs advise the Argonauts to carry the ship across land until they find the Tritonian Lake. Here they find a mostly dead serpent and some apple trees with no fruit. The local spirits tell them that some lout has come through and killed the guardian and stolen the golden apples. The Argonauts recognise Heracles from the description, but he is no longer around.

Two more Argonauts are lost in Libya: Canthus is killed by a shepherd defending his flock (the Argonauts kill the shepherd and take the sheep) and Mopsus is bitten by a poisonous snake.

The Argo sets sail on the lake, but they soon realise that this doesn't help them. They pray to the gods, and Triton turns up. He gives them a lump of dirt and shows them how to get back to the Mediterranean through the lake's marshy entrance.

Nearly home, the Argo sails by Crete, which is guarded by Talos, the man of bronze, so that the ship can't approach.  Leave this to me, says Medea, and zots him with death magic from the open sea.

"...you can do that?"
"Yes."

In the last stretch the clod of earth that Triton presented turns out to be his daughter, who seduces Euphemus and then becomes an island.

And then the story ends abruptly: "No more adventures, you're home!" 

I'll just assume that Jason and Medea lived happily ever after...

--

I feel like I haven't done Medea a lot of justice in this summary. She's an incredibly vivid character - a precise, mathematical split between lovelorn teenager and terrifying dark sorceress. There are long passages sumptuously describing her magic rituals, and long passages detailing her lovesick torment. As she and Jason flee Colchis, she reminisces about the place where she used to gather corpse parts for her spells. But it's only when Jason is thinking of handing her back to her brother that he realises just how terrifying she can be...