The Book: The Argonautica
The Author: Apollonius of Rhodes (some time in the 3rd century BCE)
This text: An etext of an 1912 prose translation by R. C. Seaton, R. C. My version is the Charles Rivers Editors version.
Price: This one cost me 81 cents from Amazon, but there are free versions available.
I knew when I started this project I would end up in Greece at some point.
Book I: From Here to Halfway There
King Pelias has heard a prophecy: that he will be killed by a man with one sandal. Shortly afterwards, Jason loses his shoe in the mud while crossing a river. Pelias deals with this by sending Jason on a suicide mission to the other side of the world.
In a mighty warship, the Argo...
...made by Argus, a - no, the - master shipwright...
...guided by Athena, goddess of wisdom...
...blessed by Hera, queen of the gods...
...crewed by several dozen of the Mediterranean's greatest heroes and demigods...
...including Heracles, taking time off from his labours.
'Now that I think about it, this plan may have some flaws.'The mission is to recover the golden fleece from Colchis, ruled by King Aeetes. Easy.
'At least they don't have Theseus, sire.'
'Yeah. It would be much easier if they had Theseus.'
'...marginally easier, sire.'
The ship's first stop is Lemnos, where they are greeted by Queen Hypsipyle, who offers them the hospitality of the island. The crew is shown an awful lot of hospitality, as they're the first men the women of the island have seen in some time. This is because the women killed all of the Lemnian menfolk themselves. Jason enjoys the Queen's hospitality personally while Heracles waits on the ship, grumbling about the loose morals of adventurers these days.
Hypsipyle, conscious that the younger women on the island are getting rather restless, and that there's not a lot of little Lemnians any more, invites the crew of the Argo to settle. Jason hedges - last night was fun, but there's this quest thing, no guarantee we're coming back, let's not make this into a big thing, there's family in Iolcus...
Hypsipyle and her elders sigh.
'I'm starting to remember why we killed our menfolk.'
Still, the crew hangs around for a while longer, until Heracles' grumbling gets too much for them and they head off. Jason asks Hypsipyle to send any chance offspring to Iolcus to be his heir, and offers a fond farewell.
'Wait, you did what to your menfolk?'
The Argo stops next at the island of Electra, daughter of Atlas, for some secret sailor rites. However these rites are too secret for the poet to actually relate, and before long they find themselves at the island known as the Mount of Bears. Here there is a small city-state ruled by Cyzicus, which is beset all sides by six-armed giants called the Earthborn.
Cyzicus has received a prophecy: if a ship full of heavily armed godlings turns up, don't piss them off or you will die.
Cyzicus is very friendly to the ship full of heavily armed godlings.
Jason and crew are treated to a lovely time in the palace, trading life stories and suchlike, while Heracles and some of the junior heroes fight off an invasion of Earthborn. Eventually, the two parties finish what they're doing, meet up and sail off.
Into a massive storm.
The Argo is buffeted and turned around, and eventually makes landfall somewhere dark. This is Cyzicus' kingdom again, but they don't know it. Cyzicus, no longer on the lookout for a ship full of heavily armed godlings, mistakes them for invaders and attacks.
It doesn't go well for Cyzicus. Or his people. Or his kingdom.
The embarrassed Argonauts find themselves trapped in the kingdom they've just destroyed, on account of many days of storms. A local shepherd has a prophetic dream, and Jason is able to beseech the right gods and the Argo is off again.
The Argonauts then get into a bit of a chest-beating competition about who can row the hardest. Heracles wins for a long while, but then his oar breaks. When they next make landfall, Heracles goes off into the forest to find a new one, which he does by uprooting trees. While he's doing this, his sidekick Hylas is kidnapped by nymphs and trapped in a spring. The hero Polyphemus hears his - presumably - anguished cries, and tells Heracles. Heracles heads off in pursuit, shouting loudly.
Meanwhile, the pilot Tiphys notices a change in the wind, and urges everyone aboard. The ship flies off across the waves - until someone notices that Heracles, Polyphemus and Hylas are not aboard. There is strife among the crew, with Jason sulking and Telamon threatening to throw Tiphys overboard, until the sea god Glaucus puts his giant arm over the side of the boat and explains that Heracles is needed in another myth cycle and Polyphemus has to found a city.
Telamon apologises to Jason and Tiphys, and the Argonauts shrug and sail on.
Book II: There
The Argo lands in the lands of Amycus, king of the Bebrycians. Amycus demands that their bravest warrior meet him in a fist fight. Polydeuces volunteers for the Argo. Polydeuces wins, a little too vigorously: he breaks Amycus' skull and kills him. The Bebrycians attack the Argonauts in fury, but are driven off. The Argonauts complain that if Heracles had have been here, Amycus wouldn't have been stupid enough to do the fist fight thing in the first place.
At their next stop, the Argonauts meet Phineus. Phineus has a problem: he was granted the gift of prophecy, and told people what he actually saw rather than what Zeus wanted them to know. Because of this, Zeus has blinded him and made sure he is plagued with harpies, who steal his food and shit on what's left.
'You guys want to stay for dinner?'However, because of his unerring gift of prophecy, Phineus knows that the arrival of a ship full of heavily armed godlings will mean that he gets to eat properly again, so he's come down to meet them. He explains the thing with the harpies, and asks politely for help. Two Argonauts - brothers Zetes and Calais - ask if they'll get in trouble for messing with this perfectly lawful cursing. Phineus swears by his gift that they won't.
'...not really.'
Phineus sits down to eat and the harpies attack. Zetes and Calais hold them off long enough for him to enjoy his meal. However, it turns out that harpies are right buggers to actually kill, and they don't manage it. The goddess Iris turns up and explains that hurting the harpies is against Olympian environmental regulations, but calls off the harpies and says that this harpy harassment won't happen again.
The rest of the crew clean Phineus up, and he explains how to get through the clashing Cyanean rocks. He explains that he can't tell them everything - that was the sort of thing that got him in trouble with Zeus - but gives them pretty good directions to Colchis and tells them to stop at a certain temple of Ares for 'unspeakable help'. Phineus then settles himself back in as local prophet, and sends them on their way.
Following Phineus' advice, and with a bit of help from Athena, the Argo sails through the Cyanean rocks without being completely crushed, and continues its journey.
Next they are met by Lycus, king of the Mariandyni, who are the hereditary enemies of the Bebrycians and are therefore very pleased to meet Polydeuces. In Lycus' land they lose two Argonauts in quick succession: the prophet Idmon, to a boar, and the pilot Tiphys, to illness.
'Yeah. Saw that coming.'The heroes are a bit lost - adrift, even - until Ancaeus volunteers for ship-steering duty. Under Ancaeus' hand they sail past wondrous and mystic and historic and terrifying lands, until they come to the island of Ares. Here they devise a bronze rattle to scare off the sharp and stabby birds - just like Heracles did, and presumably told them about - and go ashore.
Here they meet the 'unspeakable help' that Phineus promised: the four sons of Phrixus, lately of Colchis. These are kinsmen of Jason's, sharing a great-grandfather. They introduce themselves as Cytissorus, Phrontis, Melas and Argus (hereafter, Other Argus). They were sailing out, they say, to take hold of the land of Athamas, but were shipwrecked. Jason invites them aboard the Argo - there are some crew vacancies - and explains the mission. The brothers are a little horrified, and explain that Aeetes isn't just going to give up the golden fleece. Other Argus explains that there's also a dragon.
The Argo continues on its voyage - past the mountain where Prometheus is bound and screaming - and Other Argus guides them to Colchis. Here, they stash the ship in a secluded backwater, and withdraw to plan their next move...
Next: Back again.
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