The Book: The Mabinogion
The Author: Various bards of the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries.
This text: etext of a 1906 translation by Lady Charlotte Guest
Price: $2.48 (Dover Thrift Editions. There's also a free version at Project Gutenberg, but the stories are in a different order.)
And rounding out the fourth main book of the Mab, we discover the secret origin of pigs and why it's dangerous to stand on the edge of your bath.
Mabinogion IV: Math, son of Mathonwy
So Math, son of Mathonwy can't exist unless his feet are in the lap of a maiden, unless he's actually at war. It's not made at all clear whether this is curse or fetish. Regardless, Gilvaethwy, son of Don and nephew of Math, falls in love with one particular footmaiden, Goewin, and sulks. His brother, Gwydion, offers to help him, by clearing Goewin's lap of feet. Obviously, this means starting a war.
Pryderi, son of Pwyll - refer previous - has been given a herd of wondrous new animals from his friends-and-relations in Annwvyn. These beasts are small and even tastier than oxen, and they go by many names: swine, pigs, hogs and so on.
Depending on your reading of Annwvyn - Lady Guest's footnote has it as "Hades" - this makes pigs magical creatures from fairyland, divine creatures from paradise or demon creatures from hell.
Regardless, Gwydion promises Math he'll get some. He and his party disguise themselves as a bards and sing their way into in Pryderi's court. Gwydion uses his magic to conjure up twelve horses and twelve greyhounds with twelve shields which he offers in trade to Pyderi. He takes possession of the pigs and tells his men to get them back to Math pronto, on account of any moment now those dogs and horses are going to turn back into the fungus he made them from.
Gwydion drives the pigs back to Math as fast as their trotters will carry them, and presents them to court in triumph.
"What are those trumpets?" asks Math.
"That might be Pryderi's vengeful army after the pigs," says Gwydion.
Math rides out to meet Pryderi, leaving his footmaiden in the palace. Gilvaethwy turfs out the other footmaidens but, sinisterly, forces Goewin to remain.
Pryderi attacks but does pretty poorly. He surrenders and offers Math hostages, but on the retreat he can't stop his archers from taking potshots at Math's people, so it's pretty clear the war is still on. He sues Math for peace, offering to duel Gwydion to resolve the dispute, on account of he started it. Math, who never really wanted to go to war over a bunch of magic pigs, agrees.
"So can we get the pigs back?"Gwydion, on account of being a wizard, wins, and Pryderi is slain. With no further use for them, the hostages are released, and Math heads back home to put his feet up.
"No."
"Fair enough."
Alas: Goewin no longer qualifies as a footmaiden, and she denounces Gilvaethywy and Gwydion the second they come in the door. Math compensates her by marrying her and giving her lands, and he sentences Gilvaethywy and Gwydion to spend a year as deer.
At the end of the deer year, the two brothers return with a fawn in tow. Realising that it's his kin, Math adopts it and has it baptised. Then he sentences the brothers to be wild pigs for a year, and sends them out.
At the end of the pig year, they return with a piglet. Math adopts it and has it baptised, and it turns into a little boy. He sentences his nephews to be wolves for a year, and drives them out again.
A year later they're back, with a puppy. Math sighs, adopts it and has it baptised. He declares the brothers crimes expiated, and orders them washed. The three animal brothers go on to be faithful servants of Math, although it's worth noting that the text has only the pig turning into a boy on baptism.
Three years without a footmaiden, Math asks his niece Arianrod if she qualifies. She claims to, but when she steps over Math's magic wand, a baby appears. Arianrod denies all knowledge and in fact pretends not to see this apparent offspring, so Gwydion takes the boy under his wing. Arianrod is not made a footmaiden.
Arianrod continues to disown the boy, and curses him that he will never get a name except one that she gives him. Gwydion disguises him as a shoemaker, and tricks Arianrod into naming him Llew Llaw Gyffes, because he shoots like a lion. Fine, she says, but he won't get any arms or armour unless she gives it to him. Gwydion and Llew disguise themselves as bards, and Gwydion creates the illusion of an imminent army. Just after Arianrod has finished dressing the boy in armour, Gwydion laughs and waves away the illusion.
Fine, says Arianrod, but he'll not marry any woman of any race of this earth.
This stumps Gwydion, so he complains to Math. Math and Gwydion use their sorcery to make the boy a wife out of flowers, and they call her Blodeuwedd. Llew and Blodeuwedd are married.
Blodeuwedd, however, is fickle. She falls in love with a wandering lord, Gronw Pebyr. Gronw offers to bump off her husband, but it turns out that he can only be killed in the most ludicrous of circumstances.
"So, how can you be killed, husband? No reason."So Blodeuwedd explains to Gronw that he needs to prepare a spear that has ritually prepared for a year, and he has to use it to strike Llew Llaws Gyffes while he has one foot on a riverside bath with a thatched roof over it, and the other on a buck. Gronw points out that it seems unlikely that Llew will just happen to be standing with one foot on the bath and one foot on a buck. Good point, says Blodeuwedd.
"Don't worry about it. It's kind of complicated and boring."
"But suppose you one day accidentally find yourself in complicated and boring circumstances, and, I'm literally the only person who can save you? I should know."
"That sounds reasonable."
A year later, she has worked it out. "Husband," she says, "that one-foot-on-the-bath, one-foot-on-a-buck thing sounds absolutely ludicrous. Can you demonstrate what it would look like?"
"Sure," says her husband, earning minus seventeen points for good thinking.
Gronw throws his spear and hits Llew on the side. Llew panics and turns into an eagle and flies off. Gronw goes back to the castle and installs himself as lord of the manor, with Blodeuwedd at his side.
Gwydion and Math hear about these goings on, and Gwydion sets out to investigate. For no adequately explained reason, his chosen method of investigation is to follow a pig that leaves its sty in the morning, wanders off who knows where, and comes back just in time for the sty's gate to be closed in the evening.
Sometimes, you've got to follow your hunches. Tthe pig leads him straight to a strangely familiar eagle. Gwydion coaxes it down with song, where it turns into a sick and hungry Llew.
They retire to Math's castle. Math raises an army to take back Llew's own lands, and they take Blodeuwedd captive. For her crimes, Blodeuwedd is sentenced to life as an owl.
At this point, Grolw sends a message saying, I didn't really mean it, it was her fault, she tricked me, please don't kill me. This seems reasonable, and Gwydion asks only one thing: that he be allowed to repeat the blow that turned him into an eagle. Grolw asks if he's allowed a shield. Sure, says Gwydion, so Grolw picks up a huge slab of rock.
Grolw takes up his perch on the bath and the buck, and Llew launches his spear. It goes right through the rock and right through Gronw Pebry. Justice is served, and apparently the rock is still there.
Thus ends this portion of the Mabinogion.
Next: Kilhwch, Olwen, and more pigs.
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