The Myth: Legends of Charlemagne! Knights! Shining Armour! Magic
swords! Magic horses! Quests, romance, adventure, monsters, violence,
irresponsible magic, and a magnificent lack of self-control!
The Book: Orlando Innamorato
The Author: Matteo Maria Boiardo (1494).
This text: An etext of an 1823 prose translation by William Stewart Rose.
This edition
is from the University of Adelaide - Project Gutenberg has the same
text, but the formatting is better here. It's worth noting that much
the same material is covered in Thomas Bulfinch's
Age of Chivalry.
Price: Nothin'.
So where were we?
Right: Angelica has sent Orlando off to destroy the garden of the enchantress Falerina.
The Strange Case of the Damsel of the Hair
The first people Orlando meets on his new quest are Uldano, who is standing guard over a woman tied to a tree by her hair, and Origilla, a woman tied to a tree by her hair. Uldano explains: He used to be in love with Origilla, as did a lad named Lucrino. Origilla persuaded Uldano to disguise himself as Oringo, who had killed her brother, Corbino. Then she persuaded Lucrino to try to kill Oringo, who had killed her brother, Corbino. Meanwhile, her father had offered her hand to Ariantes, on the condition that he kill Oringo, who had killed her brother, Corbino. Ariantes attacked Uldano, thinking he was Oringo, and Lucrino attacked Oringo, thinking he was Uldano disguised as Oringo. Everyone was badly wounded, but Lucrino made it to Origilla's father, who thought that he was Ariantes, and promised him Origilla. Everyone was very upset. The King sentenced everyone to death: Oringo killing Orbino, Ariantes for agreeing to kill Oringo, Uldano and Lucrino for pretending to be other people, and Origilla on general principles.
Origilla was to be hung by her hair until she was dead, and the knights were to guard her until she died. It is now Uldano's watch, and he points to the arms of eight knights he's already prevented from rescuing her.
Origilla says, 'Nah, it's all bullshit,' which is enough for our lad and he attacks Uldano, and wins. Origilla points him to a nearby stairway, tells him he can see Heaven and Hell from the top of it, and then nicks his horse when he goes to look.
Orlando swears, and heads off on foot.
Meanwhile, elsewhere...
Agramant in Africa is plotting the invasion of France. His advisor Sobrino tells him it's a bust, unless he gets hold of his cousin, Rogero, currently held prisoner by the sorceror Atlantes.
Outside Albracca, Rinaldo abandons Marphisa's siege to pursue Orlando, taking Astolpho, Iroldo and Prasildo with him. They promptly find a brute who is menacing women. The brute throws Iroldo and Prasildo into a river. He tries the same with Rinaldo, but it doesn't quite work and they both fall in, leaving Astolpho on Bayardo with two distressed maidens.
Inside Albracca, Brandimart decides to head off after Orlando, as do his friends Gryphon and Aquilant. These last two meet Origilla who tells them Orlando is dead, then both knights and the damsel of them are kidnapped by forces unknown and taken off for execution.
Just as she's noting that she's defeated almost all of Angelica's defenders, Marphisa is attacked by Sacripant, king of Circassia, but the battle is interupted by news that Circassia has been invaded by Mandricardo, son of the late Agrican.
Rodomont, one of Agramant's vassals, decides to invade France even if no-one else is doing it.
Agramant is assured that Rogero can be rescued only if someone has a ring of magic resistance and also invisibility, like Angelica's. The dwarf Brunello is dispatched to acquire said ring.
The Sword and the Sorceress
The plot threads come together again as Orlando rescues Gryphon, Aquilant and Origilla from captivity. Orlando finds Origilla strangely beguiling, especially for a woman who nicked his horse, but so does Gryphon, so Orlando sends the others away so he can get some wooing in. However, he is interrupted by yet another damsel, who tells Orlando that he is near the garden he's been sent to destroy, and must remain chaste for three days unless he wants to be eaten by a dragon. She knows this because she's read about it in a book she happens to have on her. Even better: Falerina is currently in the garden making a magic sword that will cut through anything. The damsel hands over the book and heads off. Orlando goes to sleep, anticipating adventures on the morrow, and Origilla
pinches his sword and his horse and pisses off.
Next morning, Orlando swears some more and grabs a tree branch to serve as a weapon. He takes out quite a bit of his anger on the dragon guarding the garden's gate, and finds himself trapped in said magic garden as the gate disappears behind him. He finds Falerina just as she's finishing the sword, and takes it off her. He demands she tell him how to (a) escape and (b) destroy the garden, but she refuses, and he ties her to a tree. Then he remembers he has a magic book, and follows its instructions leading him to: fill his ears with roses, kill a siren, cover himself in her blood, remove the roses from his ears, kill a magic bull with horns of iron and fire, follow a river, get shat on by a harpy, kill a harpy, kill a magic ass, kill a faun, kill a giant, kill two more giants that erupt from the flaming blood of the first giant, and consult the god-damn book again.
This tells him that to actually destroy the garden he needs the branch off a certain tree. He heads back past Falerina and finds the tree, which he chops down. The garden disappears, and all that is left is Falerina tied to a tree. Falerina complains that she only ever built magic gardens to annoy Ariantes and Origilla, and anyway one of them was destroyed by a shifty princess, and anyway there's an enchanted bridge left that is full of prisoners who'll die if she does. Take me there and we'll do some rescuing, says Orlando.
A Short-Statured Burglar Steals a Magic Ring
Meanwhile, Brunello arrives at Albracca and steals Marphisa's sword, Sacripant's horse and Angelica's ring, and shoots off back to Africa. Angelica is just starting to freak out when an army of Turks arrives. She decides to contact her cousin Gradasso, last seen invading Europe, and sends Sacripant with the message.
Back in France...
...the treacherous knight Ganelon invites Marsilius, king of Spain, into France, just as Rodomont is invading. Dun dun dun...!
The Bridges of Cathay and India
On their way to Falerina's bridge, Orlando and Falerina arrive at the bridge that Rinaldo fell off. Turns out this was left here by Morgana, who gave some guy invincible strength and invulnerable armour and the ability to breath indefinitely under water for the express purpose of harassing knights. Falerina explains that the
modus operandi here is to throw knights into the lake, or, failing that, to grapple them and jump into the lake, and then display their arms as a trophy.
At this point, Orlando spots Rinaldo's arms. Now, Orlando and Rinaldo have been fighting quite a bit, but they are friends and kinsmen. Orlando is a little bit upset and charges into battle. The brute grabs Orlando and jumps into the lake.
The lake is not quite as Orlando expected: instead of a cold and suffocating watery embrace, he finds himself in a wide field in a mystic otherworld. He also has a serious magic sword, which no-one else has had before. Orlando kills Morgana's invincible brute, and wanders off through a surreal and allegorical landscape.
Eventually he finds Morgana, who has Rinaldo and the others imprisoned in a crystal. He captures Morgana by the forelock and demands their release; Morgana requests only that they leave her favourite, a youth named Ziliantes, son of King Monodontes. Orlando shrugs and agrees. The rest of the knights are disgorged. One of them, Dudon, explains to Orlando and Rinaldo that he has been sent by Charlemagne to ask them very nicely to stop fucking around in India and to go home and defend Christendom. They agree to do so.
Except for Orlando and Brandimart, who head back towards Angelica.
The westward-bound party travels for some days until they come across an enchanted ferry, which they take. On the other side they are accosted by an old man, who tells them they trespass upon the territory of King Monodontes, and will not be allowed to depart unless they perform a service, to whit: killing an enemy of the king's. This is Balisardo, a giant and an enchanter. The knights agree on general principles. But it turns out that giants that use magic are much trickier than giants who don't use magic, and they are each defeated and imprisoned.
The dungeons are already chock full of knights - including Astolpho, who sadly tells them that Rinaldo is dead. Rinaldo points out that he is not, which Astolpho finds comforting.
Heading back to Albracca, Orlando and Brandimart meet Brunello - who steals Orlando's horn and sword - and Marphisa - who continues to pursue Brunello. Unable to join in since they don't have horses, they continue on their way until they come across a magic ferry, which they take. Aboard the ferry, they meet again Origilla, who has Orlando's sword and horse. Orlando once again falls in love with her.
On the other side Orlando - possibly weakened in the allegoricals by inappropriate lust - is defeated by Balisardo and put in a prison ship bound for the dungeons, but Brandimart is able to defeat the giant-wizard and rescue him. They learn from the that Monodontes, although terribly terribly rich, is terribly terribly sad: his two sons were taken at a young age, one by a slave named Bardino, the other by a fairy named Morgana. It turns out that Balisardo was in league with Monodontes: Morgana has offered to surrender her prisoner in exchange for one Orlando, who has
messed with her.
This Orlando sounds like a bit of a menace, says Orlando. Take us to Monodontes that we may pledge to deliver up this varlet. Origilla, however, is minded to save Gryphon, and secretly tells Monodontes that Orlando is currently on the island. Gryphon insists that Aquilant also be released, and they depart. Orlando and Brandimart are drugged and imprisoned.
Orlando takes the opportunity of imprisonment to convert Brandimart to Christianity. When Monodontes comes down into the dungeon, Brandimart pretends to be Orlando. The king explains that he's only handing 'Orlando' over to Morgana to get his son back. Brandimart proposes that, if that's all he wants, he could send his companion to rescue the kid. And if that doesn't work he can always send 'Orlando' over to the fairy as per the original plan.
The king agrees, and the real Orlando sets off to rescue Ziliantes. Then Astolpho says, 'Oh, hey, Brandimart!' and Brandimart is thrown back into the dungeon.
Orlando heads back to Morgana's bridge, to find the fairy cradling a dead dragon. Also, a bit randomly, Flordelis, with a sergeant. Morgana explains that she turned Ziliantes into a dragon to take the place of her brute, only the magic went wonky and he died. She takes the dead dragon into the lake in the hope that she might be able to resurrect him in the otherworld. Flordelis explains that she was looking for Brandimart, and found this guy: Bardino. Bardino admits that he kidnapped the son of King Monodontes for unspecified reasons and sold him to the Lord of the Sylvan Tower. Said Lord raised Brandimart as his own child, and made Bardino his castellan. While the Lord was out hunting, the castle came under attack by a knight called Rupardo, so Bardino casts lots to lead him to Brandimart. The lots told him that he was held captive by Morgana.
Old news, says Orlando, Brandimart is being held captive by Monodontes and I need to rescue Ziliantes to get him released, which could be complicated now that Ziliantes is (a) a dragon and (b) dead. But Flordelis eggs him on and Orlando descends into the lake and finds Morgana caressing the recently revived and absolutely terrified Ziliantes. Orlando again grabs her by the forelock and forces her to release her hold on her captive.
Orlando returns Ziliantes to Monodontes and explains everything. Monodonte is so happy he converts to Christianity on the spot, and forgives Bardino his reckless baby stealing. Everyone celebrates until Dudon glances meaningfully at his timepiece, and everyone sets off for Europe.
Except for Orlando and Brandimart, who head back towards Angelica.
Rinaldo's party arrives in Europe. Just over the border, the fairy Alcina - Morgana's sister - falls for Astolpho's irresistible beauty and seduces him onto a whale. Rinaldo joins forces with some armies that were heading in that direction, and confronts Rodomont. Rodomont and Rinaldo fight. The greater battle hangs in the balance: Dudon is captured, Rinaldo loses his horse, Charlemagne arrives with a relief force, and Rodomont flees.
Rodomont decides, however, that he wishes to continue the duel, and looks for Rinaldo in the Forest of Arden. Instead he finds Ferrau, who's been here since early in Book 1, and they start talking about ladies. It turns out that Rodomont is dating Ferrau's ex, and they start fighting over her.
Rinaldo, who wasn't actually in the Forest of Arden, arrives at the Forest of Arden, where a nymph makes him drink from the fountain of Love. This is exactly where he first met Angelica, and he is so filled with remorse for scorning her that he decides to head back to Albracca to apologise.
The Rogero Ruse
Brunello the dwarf escapes Marphisa - despite her abandoning her armour to travel faster, and probably because she wore out her horse - and presents Angelica's ring to Agramant, along with Orlando's horn. Agramant gives him a kingdom (Tingitana, should it become relevant) and lets him join the party of Saracens heading to Atlantes' mountain. Although the ring lets Agramant find the magically hidden mountain with a beautiful garden at the top, it doesn't let him climb it, and even Brunello's burglary skills are unable to effect an entrance. Agramant therefore sets up a tourney, which Rogero sees from the mountaintop and decides to join. Brunello offers him a horse (Sacripant's), a sword (Orlando's) and some armour (his own, somehow). Rogero is wounded treacherously, but Atlantes is able to heal him and he's able to kill the traitor. More importantly, he gets to hear all about the exciting invasion of France...
All Roads Lead to Paris
Orlando and Brandimart and Flordelis return to Albracca, passing Sacripant on the way. Sacripant is heading to seek aid from Gradasso, and is disguised as a pilgrim. Orlando explains what's been going on, and that everyone else has gone back to France. Angelica explains that with no defenders the defense has not been going all that well, and suggests that it might be best to return to France. Especially if Rinaldo's there.
'What was that last bit?'
'Nothing, dear!'
During the escape everyone is scattered, but Orlando quickly reunites with Angelica and Brandimart with Flordelis. A strange knight kidnaps Flordelis and demands Brandimart's armour and horse. This is Marphisa, who lost hers in chasing Brunello. Flordelis and Brandimart face robbers, and they flee into the forest. Happily, Brandimart finds a dead king in full armour, and takes his arms and armour. He leaves the crown, however. (This was Agrican, recently slain by Orlando. Well, fairly recently.)
Orlando and Angelica head back to France (
via a tournament in Cyprus where they briefly encounter Gryphon, Aquilant and Origilla). They arrive in the Forest of Arden, and Angelica inadvertently drinks from the fountain of Hate. Then Rinaldo turns up and apologises to Angelica, who tells him to get knotted. This gets Rinaldo riled up, and he and Orlando fight.
Angelica, terrified of the combat, flees the forest, and finds herself in an armed encampment. Here she meets Charlemagne, and tells him what's going on. Charlemagne stomps into the forest, drags both of the knights back to the camp, places Angelica under guard, and tells Orlando and Rinaldo that he'll give her to the one of them that fights best against the damned Saracens, who they might remember
are currently invading France!
Agramant, meanwhile, is trying to work out who killed one of his men and all signs point to Brunello. The dwarf is just about to be hanged when Rogero rides in and explains everything, and asks to join the army. Agramant is overjoyed, and forgives everyone, and sets off once more to France.
Meanwhile, Ferrau and Rodomont are interrupted in their duel by news that Marsilius is invading France from Spain. They agree to a gentlemanly truce and head off to join him. Along the way they come across Malagigi and his brother Vivian. Malagigi summons a horde of demons, but they're not enough and the two are captured. The Saracens join up with the Spanish forces, and are attacked by Charlemagne's army.
On their way back to France, Brandimart and Flordelis find themselves trapped in an enchanted castle. A damsel tells Brandimart that they can escape if he opens a sepulchre and kisses what comes out of it. What comes out of it is a dragon, who turns out to be an enchanted fairy. In gratitude for the kiss and associated rescue, the fairy enchants Brandimart's arms and armour, and then asks them to take the damsel to Syria to be reunited with her father, the king. The damsel tells her story, which is long and complicated, and finishes with her commenting that she wishes she knew what had happened to her sister, who was kidnapped as a child and sold to the Lord of the Sylvan Tower. Wait, says Flordelis, I was kidnapped as a child and sold to the Lord of the Sylvan Tower, and my boyfriend is that Lord's son and also the son of a different king, it's complicated. With everyone is rescued and knowing who their real parents are, Brandimart and Flordelis are married, before setting off again to France.
However, they don't make it: they are shipwrecked, and wash up in Carthage. Brandimart conceals his newly Christian status and introduces himself to Agramant merely as the son of King Monodontes. They join Agramant's army as it sails to Spain and then marches to France, where it joins the battle that's already going on.
Orlando, it turns out, is there, but is hanging back until such time as Charlemagne needs rescuing in the most impressive way possible. He sees Rogero, and is about to attack when Atlantes - who has followed Rogero to make sure nothing bad happens to him - casts a spell and tricks him into jumping into a magic well.
Meanwhile, in Tartary, Agrican's son Mandricardo sets out to avenge his father. He is captured by a fairy, who tests him and eventually awards him with the armour of the Trojan hero Hector - but not his sword. This is because Hector's sword is Durindana, currently wielded by Orlando. The fairy enjoins Mandricardo to swear an oath: he will wear no sword but Orlando's. Mandricardo joins forces with Gradasso and the two have any number of adventures - monsters, giants, mystic dwarves, a half-goblin half-fairy armed with a crocodile - and criss-cross the paths of all the other knights, including Gryphon and Aquilant. Eventually, however, they make it to France, just as Charlemagne's army is falling apart.
In the aftermath of the battle, Rogero finds Rodomont fighting a knight called Bradamant. Rogero politely coughs and says that the battle is over and Charlemagne's army is in rout. Bradamant asks permission to depart the field, which Rodomont refuses. Rogero considers this discourteous, and takes up the fight on Bradamant's behalf. She leaves, but is unable to catch up with the fleeing forces and comes back to see if Rogero needs a hand. Just as she comes back, Rogero gives Rodomont such a blow to the head that he drops both his sword and his bridle, leaving Bradamant and Rogero with a chance to chat. Bradamant apologises for leaving Rogero to fight on her behalf, explaining that she felt she had a duty to her king. Rogero finds this entirely reasonable. Rodomont comes to his senses, but decides that he's had enough and ducks off into the forest.
Bradamant and Rogero chat for a bit, and Rogero tells her his story, starting with the fall of Troy and ending with him being raised by a sorcerer as his son. Bradamant tells her story: she's a French paladin and Rinaldo's sister.
Rogero and Bradamant are getting on really quite nicely when they are attacked by a Saracen scouting party and separated. Rogero starts to look for her but instead comes across Mandricardo and Gradasso. Mandricardo asks Rogero why he has a Trojan device on his shield, and Rogero asks Mandricardo what right he has to Hector's arms. Mandricardo tells the story, but when he gets to the bit about not wearing any other sword by Durindana, Gradasso perks up and says that he's questing for Durindana too - that's the whole reason he invaded France and started this war in the first place. Gradasso and Mandricardo start hitting each other with trees to settle the matter.
This goes on for some time until Brandimart and Flordelis - accidentally on the wrong side in this war - turn up. Brandimart tells everyone that if they want to fight Orlando for his sword, they'll need to rescue him from the magic well first. Mandricardo and Gradasso are all for it, and Rogero tags along. However, Brandimart decides that he has the wrong number of knights, and Mandricardo is sent back to camp.
Orlando, it turns out, has been imprisoned in the River of Laughter by nymphs. Rogero and Gradasso are also seduced in quick succession, but Flordelis provides Brandimart with some garlands of mystic roses, and he effects a rescue. Gradasso decides that now is as good a time as any to attack Orlando and grab his sword, but they are interrupted by a dwarf who needs help. Rogero and Gradasso go off with the dwarf, and Orlando, Brandimart and Flordelis head for Paris, now under siege.
Bradamant, meanwhile, finds a hermit who can tend her various wounds and, because one of them is a head wound, cut her hair. She wanders off through the wood, where she meets with a damsel who, thinking her a man, tries to seduce her.
At this point, the poet says he has to stop because France is invading and the 'horizon is bright with flames.' He promises to continue the story again if he can - but he won't, and it won't be taken up for another forty years, when Ariosto comes along.
--
Holy shit, this stuff is awesome.
And
there's a sequel...
