Blood and Poems: Kormak's Saga

The Myth: Viking Sagas! Blood! Magic! Snow! Violence! Seafaring! Vicious, vicious poetry!
The Book: Sagas of Warrior-Poets
The Author:  Various bards of the thirteenth century.
This text: Paperback anthology from a 1997 translation by various scholars
Price: Well, I paid $16.95 according to the sticker. (Penguin Classics. Amazon has an etext which is slightly cheaper, and there are probably earlier translations around.)

I've had this on my shelf for some years, and had never got around to reading it. It doesn't quite fit into my free-texts-from-history ethos, but turned out to be such fun that I couldn't pass it up.

So the book is a (Penguin) collection of a number of Icelandic sagas, of the warrior-poet genre. The sagas are prose shot through with bits of verse. This genre deals with love triangles, revenge cycles and general bad behaviour. The protagonists are generally unsympathetic: quixotic, vain and violent, although to be fair so is nearly everyone else. One of the sagas is actually called 'The Saga of Hallfred Troublesome-Poet'. Because the protagonists are warrior-poets, there's as much slander and litigation as duelling and violence. As crimes deserving compensation go, 'you killed my cousin!' is roughly on a par with 'you wrote shitty poetry and said it was mine!'

Kormak's Saga is the first in the book, and sets the scene pretty well. Kormak meets and falls in love with Steingerd, fails to marry her, and then continues to pursue her long after everyone else has lost interest, including her. Kormak's brother, Thorgils, follows loyally while constantly pointing out how stupid Kormak is being. Everyone else is all, "Are you still going on about this?" Halfway through, Steingerd herself tells him to piss off. Kormak comes across as being a complete dick, and it's possible that the Viking moral is: 'Mouthy poets is trouble.'

It's pretty great.

Kormak's Saga
Kormak and Thorgils are Viking brothers, sons of heroes. Kormak is in love with Steingerd, but her father, Thorkel, disapproves. This disapproval manifests as him trying to have Kormak killed; two sons of the of the sorceress Thorveig attempt the deed, fail, and are killed. Kormak confronts Thorveig and tells him that he has no intention of providing compensation for her sons, and tells her to leave town. Thorveig responds with a curse: Kormak will never enjoy Steingerd's love.

This turns out to be a remarkably subtle curse, playing out over Kormak's entire life, although another possibility is that it is completely ineffectual and Kormak is just a dick.

Regardless, Kormak goes to a lot of effort to win over Thorkel, and eventually the latter agrees to let him marry Steingerd.

And Kormak doesn't turn up.

Thorkel is furious. He pretty quickly arranges to marry Steingerd to champion duelist Bersi. Steingerd sends her kinsman Narsi to tell Kormak about the marriage. Narsi does, and Kormak hits him. Thorgils suggests that this is perhaps an overreaction; Kormak agrees, and they get the full story of the wedding feast out of Narsi.

'Thorgils! Bersi has taken my beloved Steingerd to wife!'
'That's true, Kormak, but when you didn't turn up to your wedding, everyone kind of assumed that you'd lost interest.'
'(mumble)'
'What?'
'I said it isn't easy, being a poet!'

Kormak sets off in pursuit of the wedding party, accompanied by the reluctant Thorgils. Bersi travels through Thorveig's farm, and she gives him a magic shield and lends him a boat. She then has her people stave out the bottoms of the rest of her boats, so that Kormak can't follow.

Kormak and Thorgils arrive in pursuit. Thorgils finds an old boat in a barn, which Thorveig offers to hire to them at an exorbitant price. Thorgils grumbles, but Kormak says that he's on a mission for love and doesn't want to piss about with pocket change. Thorgils pays up and they set off across the ford.

The boat sinks.

'Boat's sinking, Kormak.'
'Shut up, Thorgils.'

They go back to their horses and eventually catch up to Bersi, who has now joined up with several of his men. Kormak claims, against quite a lot of reason, that Bersi has abducted Steingerd.

'Bersi, I shall have my vengeance!'
'Kormak? What the hell for?'
'You married my beloved Steingerd!'
'Dude. I heard you didn't turn up to your wedding because you'd lost interest.'
'It isn't easy being a poet!'

Bersi, who had no particular beef against Kormak, says, no, he's properly married, and asks Kormak if he would like his sister Helga as a wife instead. Kormak dithers, but eventually decides that, no, he would rather fight Bersi in a duel. He names a time and a place. Thorgils tells him he's an idiot, and they head home. Kormak stops briefly to talk to Steingerd, who says that while she had no particular wish to marry Bersi, Kormak is in fact a trouble-maker and a bit of a dick.

'Steingerd, I'm quite disappointed that you'd marry someone else.'
'Wasn't exactly my idea, Kormak, but when you didn't turn up to our wedding, I kind of assumed that you'd lost interest.'
'It isn't easy being a poet.'

Kormak leaves her with some love poetry, saying that he loves her so much that he's willing to ride his horse to death for her.

Kormak's mother Dalla tells him he's an idiot, and if he's going to fight a champion duelist he should probably borrow her friend Skeggi's magic sword. Skeggi initially refuses, but after an implied intervention by Dalla, relents and teaches Kormak the ritual necessary to activate the sword's magic.

'Right, Kormak, you understand the ritual you need for the magic sword Skofnung? That I'm only lending you because your mother is a close friend?'
'Yeah, basically.'
'We're going to regret this.'

Kormak screws up the magic ritual and the sword refuses to fight for him. It screeches, it howls, and it cuts off the tip of Bersi's sword, which cuts open Kormak's thumb. Blood on the dueling ground is a forfeit; Kormak loses. Kormak takes the sword back to Skeggi, singing whiny poems about the stupid sword.

'Skeggi, your magic sword sucks! I lost the duel in the shittiest way possibly!'
'Did you remember the ritual?'
'Well, maybe I didn't remember every single little tiny syllable...'

Kormak asks his cousin Steinar, a champion duelist, to pay the dueling fee to Bersi. Bersi offers to heal Kormak's wound with his magic healing stone, but Kormak refuses. At the Althing, Bersi inadvertently insults Steinar, who says that he was going to pay Kormak's forfeit, but now offers double-or-nothing. Bersi accepts. Steinar taunts Bersi into a swimming race as well, and during the race tears off his healing stone.

The duel goes badly for Bersi: a blow from Steinar glances off his magic shield, and chops off his buttock. Bersi's wound heals badly until a friend recovers the healing stone, but Steingerd considers him disgraced, calling him 'Arse-Bersi' and divorcing him. Thorkel attempts to recover Steingerd's dowry, and Bersi kills him.

Shortly after leaving Bersi, Steingerd meets and marries a tin-smith called Thorvald. Kormak finds out and follows them to Thorvald's homestead. He tells Steingerd that he's a bit disappointed that she has married again, and she tells him that she hopes he is eaten by trolls.

"Steingerd, I'm quite disappointed that you would marry someone else. Again."
"Kormak, will you just piss off?"

Kormak nevertheless challenges Thorvald to a duel. Thorvald is protected from harm by a sorceress named Thordis, and at his mother's instigation Kormak approaches her for the same protection. Thordis struggles because of Thorveig's curse, and tries to unwind it to make the spellcasting easier. Kormak tells her not to worry about that supernatural shit, just give him a magic charm for the duel. He and Thorvald fight, and since neither of them can draw any blood, it doesn't end until Kormak hits Thorvald hard enough to break his ribs. Kormak claims Steingerd as a prize, but she again tells him to piss off and goes to look after Thorvald. Thordis has a magic spell to help heal Thorvald, but he needs the sacrificial bull that Kormak killed after the duel. Kormak's price for the dead bull is Steingerd's gold ring, which pisses her off even more.

Thorvald challenges Kormak to another duel; this time Kormak doesn't bother with Thordis' protection, and ends the duel with a blow that breaks his opponent's shoulder. Thorvard forfeits another gold ring. Kormak continues to harass Steingerd, and is seen kissing her in public, twice. Thorvald demands compensation, and is given the two rings back. Kormak and Thorgils leave town, and take service with the King of Norway.

Later, Steingerd asks to accompany Thorvald on his travels. This brings them into range of Kormak again, who continues to press his attentions on Steingerd. Then Thorvald loses his ships, goods and wife to Viking raiders. When Kormak hears about this he sets off in pursuit, rescuing Steingerd and killing the raiders. Thorvald says that, due to his heroism, perhaps Kormak should take Steingerd with him. Steingerd vehemently refuses. Kormak puts this down to Thorveig's curse, and gallantly says that he doesn't think it would work out.

'It isn't easy, being a poet.'

Thorgils' response to this is not recorded, and shortly afterwards, Kormak is killed by Scottish giants, still singing of his love for Steingerd.

And there this saga ends.

Next: A troublesome poet.