The Book: Orlando Furioso
The Author: Lodovico Ariosto (1532-ish)
This text: An etext of a set of poetry translations from 1823 to 1831 by William Stewart Rose.
Price: Nothin'.
(Previously...)
This episode has Marphisa in it. Marphisa is entirely my favourite character in this entire poem.
Martano's capture
We're in Damascus, and Gryphon's rage has sent the Damascan townsfolk fleeing. Gryphon has found a defensible position - the bridge over a temple's moat - and is holding it against King Norandino's knights. As the bodies start to pile up, the king realises that he may have made an error - surely this valiant knight can't be the wretch he accused of cowardice! He shouts an apology, which Gryphon accepts. They embrace, and Norandino offers Gryphon the hospitality of the palace, and a doctor to see to his wounds.
Meanwhile, Aquilant has set out in pursuit of Origilla, reasoning that that's probably what Gryphon has done. He learns that she left the tournament in the direction of Aleppo. On reaching Aleppo, Aquilant is pleased to see his brothers arms and armour, especially since the tournament's prize in on extravagant display. He is rather less pleased to see that Gryphon's armour contains Martano. He asks for one good reason why he shouldn't gut both of them for murder.
The good reason that Martano tries is that Gryphon tried to force himself on his dear sister Origilla.
Uh-huh, says Aquilant.
Aquilant heads back to Damascus, dragging Martano behind him on a rope.
Norandino and Aquilant are all in favour of torture and death for both Martano and Origilla, but Gryphon begs clemency for them both.
"Seriously, brother?"Norandino deliberates on what would be a suitable apology for someone you've unfairly maligned and had your townspeople abuse; he decides to host another tournament in Gryphon's honour.
"Seriously!"
"You have a problem."
Marphisa!
Astolpho is still waiting for Aquilant and Gryphon to get their shit together so that they can head back to France. When he hears about a tournament in Gryphon's honour, he decides he'd better check it out. He heads off with the (Christian) king of Jerusalem, Sansonnet, who he has been hanging with.
Along the way they are accosted by a woman in armour - but when she recognises Astolpho, she breaks into a broad grin. This is Marphisa, the Queen of India and one of the best knights in the world. They fought together back in the Inammorato days, defending Angelica's city of Albracca.
"Astolpho! How're you doing? I haven't seen you since Albracca!"The prize at the tournament is the magic armour that Gryphon technically won last time that Martano stole, which is on display in Damascus. This causes problems when the trio of knights turns up. It turns out that it's Marphisa's armour...
"Marphisa? Were we even on the same side at Albracca?"
"No idea, but you were awesome! Dude, there's a tournament, we should totally go!"
"Hey, Marphisa, didn't you used to have a suit of magic armour?"Marphisa charges into the marketplace to get her armour back. Astolpho and Sansonnet lower their lances and ride in her defense. Norandino directs his own knights - plus Gryphon and Aquilant - to defend the prize. Astolpho knocks the brothers off their horses with his magic lance, and it turns out Sansonnet is no slouch in the jousting department himself. Marphisa is able to recover her armour, and the three retreat back towards their inn.
"I ditched it to chase Brunello."
"Hey, look - the prize for the tournament is a suit of magic armour..."
"Holy shit! Be right back!"
"Did...did Marphisa just start a war?"
Norandino, Gryphon and Aquilant pursue, but Aquilant recognises Astolpho's arms and suggests that there might be something else going on. Also, Norandino's men realise that the woman that nicked the armour is Marphisa the famous terrifying warrior queen, and become reluctant to pursue. Norandino calls for a parley, and Astolpho and Sansonnet talk Marphisa down to the extent that she's willing to talk before gutting people.
This is my armour, she politely explains, and I'll gut anyone who tries to take it.
That seems fair, says Norandino.
Norandino arranges a face-saving interpretation: had Gryphon won the tournament as expected, he had always intended to give it back to Marphisa, and anyway if Marphisa was competing she'd probably have won it anyway, so how about Marphisa keeps the armour and no-one gets gutted?
Whatever, says Gryphon. Fair enough, says Marphisa.
And Sansonnet goes on to win the tournament, mostly because Astolpho, Marphisa, Gryphon and Aquilant decide to sit watching from a hillside.
The Battle of Paris: Aftermath, with Angelica
The Saracens have retreated, but their encampment is within sight of Paris. While they don't have the will to continue the assault, Charlemagne doesn't have the forces to clear them out. It's a tense situation as night falls.
Two of Dardinello's most loyal followers - Cloridane and Medoro - decide that they can't possibly leave their king's body where it fell after Rinaldo killed him. Under cover of darkness they sneak back to the battlefield to find the corpse. Unfortunately, as they try to carry it back to the Saracen camp, they are discovered by Zerbino and his patrol. Cloridane drops the body and runs, figuring Medoro must do the same. However, Medoro is the tiniest bit more loyal to his dead king, and holds on. From the treeline, Cloridane sees Medoro cornered; he launches some arrows at the Scots. It's in vain, however, and Medoro is captured.
Please don't kill me, says Medoro, and explains his mission. Zerbino is moved by his loyalty, but one of his men stabs Medoro in the chest. Zerbino strikes the churl down, and Cloridane, believing Medoro murdered, draws his sword and charges in. Cloridane is killed, and Zerbino's squad leaves Medoro for dead.
And so he would be, were it not for a kindly invisible maiden passing by. Angelica, entirely fed up with knights and cursing a bunch of them under her breath, comes across the wounded warrior. Moved to pity, she pulls out some healing herbs and starts seeing to his wounds. She flags down a passing shepherd to help, but Medoro refuses to leave the plain until Dardinello and Cloridane are buried, a task he accomplishes with some difficulty. Then Angelica puts him to bed in the shepherd's shed, and decides to stay with him until he's well.
(Angelica's rescue count: +1 heavily wounded, very pretty soldier)
It is some days before Medoro is well again, and Angelica has time to do some thinking. This man is clearly brave, noble, and very, very, pretty. Most importantly, he is not a complete arse. As he recovers he thanks her for her efforts on his behalf, and is never anything but polite and gentle.
Angelica falls totally in love with him.
"Can there be anything a humble soldier can do to repay the kindness you have shown me?"Angelica is not a terribly subtle person, and she makes her feelings known. Medoro, rescued from certain death by one of the most beautiful women in the world, responds enthusiastically.
"I can think of something."
The two are married - possibly by the shepherdess - and spend a month honeymooning in the shed.
It's a pleasant month, and the two spend it (a) delighting in each others' company and (b) carving "ANGELICA LOVES MEDORO" on everything, "...in divers cyphers quaintly interlaced."
Eventually, however, Angelica decides that it's time to return to China. She pays the Shepherd with an expensive bracelet that Orlando apparently gave her and that she didn't lose when stripped naked and tied to a rock.
And off they head.
Marphisa and the City of Bloodthirsty Women
Astolpho, Marphisa, Gryphon, Aquilant and Sansonnet set said for France. However, after several days of fair sailing, a gale blows up and drives them towards the African coast. They see a citadel, but the ship's master tells Astolpho that he doesn't want to take harbour there because it's full of violent women who kill or enslave people that can't meet their challenge.
What's the challenge, asks Astolpho.
Well, explains the master, first someone has to defeat the city's ten champions.
Right, says Astolpho, that seems within our capabilities.
And then, says the master, they have to satisfy ten women.
Um, says Astolpho.
And if they can do that, continues the master, they have to marry all ten women, and if they fail, they and everyone with them will be enslaved or executed.
I see the problem, says Astolpho. Gryphon, Aquilant and Sansonnet concur. Marphisa doesn't, exactly.
But none of them really want to drown, so they head for the coast.
As the ship makes harbour the women of the city flock out to greet them. It's a terribly martial city, given over to arenas and tournament grounds. The only men are the champions - ten knights in armour - and the slaves, who wear dresses and made to do embroidery.
The city's rulers explain their custom.
Maybe we should draw lots, asks Astolpho, to determine our champion.
Nah, I'll do it, says Marphisa.
You're not really, uh, qualified for the second bit, says Astolpho.
I'm not trusting this to you boys, she replies.
Astolpho points out that he has both a magic horn and a magic lance.
Not magic enough, reckons Marphisa.
The next day Marphisa rides out in full armour, to face the ten champions. Nine of them lower their lances. The tenth, armoured in black, sits back and watches.
Marphisa is one of the world's finest warriors, and kills three of the champions on the first pass. Lances shatter on her magic armour. She draws her sword, and resolutely hacks the next six into pieces.
The tenth champion salutes her. He compliments her on her work. He held back, he says, because ten against one seemed terribly unsporting. Speaking of which, he adds that she must be pretty puffed after fighting off nine nasty knights, and maybe they should start again after a night's rest.
Marphisa says that she's barely been fighting for ten minutes and it hasn't exactly been arduous. Taking the afternoon off seems a bit lazy, to be honest.
Fair enough, says the champion, and promptly knocks her off her horse.
This doesn't happen often to Marphisa, and she's thoroughly impressed.
She draws her sword, and the champion dismounts and does the same. They start fighting in earnest. They duel heavily and earnestly, and neither is able to gain advantage.
Lucky he wasn't fighting earlier, thinks Marphisa.
They end up fighting for the rest of the day, and as the sun starts to go down the champion suggests again that they take the fight up again in the morning. He says that he hates having become this city's champion, and that, honestly, she'll be doing him a favour if she kills him.
Marphisa agrees to a truce, and takes off her helmet.
Holy shit, says the champion, you're a chick!
I know that, says Marphisa. Why do people keep telling me?
Escape from the City of Bloodthirsty Women
The party retires to the champion's pavilion. The knight introduces himself as Guido the Savage. He is, it turns out, the illegitimate son of Duke Aymon, making him Rinaldo and Bradamante's half-brother and Astolpho's cousin. He was travelling to meet his father in France, but was shipwrecked here. He killed the ten champions and took ten wives according to the custom, but he doesn't feel quite right about it.
He also fills Marphisa in on the history of the city. It dates back to classical Greece and the aftermath of the Trojan war. Some Cretan women felt that if their menfolk were going to keep going off to war and leaving them, they may as well learn to cope. They took young lovers - but these lovers didn't turn out to be any more reliable than the last lot of menfolk, and they left. The Cretan women set off in pursuit, and ended up on this shore. Things were happy for a while, but then the men went off again in search of plunder and adventure.
So the Cretan women came up with an arrangement that let them have as many men as they needed, but not more. Surplus menfolk were killed or enslaved, and this fair city was established, with the women in control.
Marphisa listens with deep interest.
Guido ends up saying that all the sex and leisure is making him unmanly, and he wants to go to France to kill people.
Astolpho is delighted to meet a cousin, but Guido is concerned that (a) he'll win tomorrow and Astolpho will be enslaved or else (b) he'll be killed tomorrow, nullifying any particular pleasure he might derive from meeting a new family member.
Hey, says Marphisa, why don't you join us and make a break for it? You're currently a hundred percent of this city's knighthood.
Guido points out that the city is still full of heavily-armed and highly motivated women, including ninety new and angry widows and ten abandoned wives. Maybe nine, if he takes one with him.
But Astolpho has a plan.
The plan is to arm up and ride to the harbour. It is elegant in its simplicity.
The next morning, the knights arm up. Guido assembles his men-at-arms and his favourite wife, and the party sets off for the harbour. They are assailed on all sides by archers, and Guido and Marphisa lose their horses. Desperate, Astolpho sounds his Horn of Terror.
The city's army is terrified by the sound, and routs. One woman doesn't stop running for days. Unfortunately, Astolpho hadn't been able to warn his comrades to block their ears, so they're all terrified too. Each and every knight fails their will save, and they all pissbolt for the harbour. They're already out to sea when they realise that Astolpho isn't with them.
Astolpho watches the ship sail off, and wonders how he's going to get back to France now.
(I'm crediting Marphisa with Guido's rescue from durance vile in the City of Bloodthirsty Women - Marphisa's rescue count: +1 knight)
The ship eventually makes it back to Marseilles, which is Bradamante's turf, but she's out questing.
The party decides where to go next: Gryphon, Aquilant, Sansonnet and Guido opt to head to Paris; Marphisa goes her own way.
"Hey, Marphisa, we're all going to save Paris. You want to come?"Rescue tally:
"I'm a knight, not a herd animal. I'm going questing!"
Melissa: 12
Angelica:7
Bradamante: 5
Orlando: 2
Rinaldo: 2
Marphisa: 1
Rogero: 0
Astolpho: 0
Next: Orlando goes mad.
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